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Separating from husband new baby

(5 Posts)
Bluebellevergreen Sun 07-May-17 18:12:01

That is it basically. 3 months old baby and marriage dead.
We havent had sex in months but before you say this is normal after baby, our sex life was pretty awkward before.
We argue. He works more and more so he doesnt have to be around.
I am with baby, whom I love and rarely see DH so not much point.
He doesnt kiss me or look at me.
I feel I am alone with baby and I wpuld prefer to actually be alone with baby.
Problem is how would I afford it? Rent on my own plus transport plus full time nursery when I go back to work will be impossible to earn. He doesnt earn more than me so everyone will struggle.
I dont want to raise baby in a house with no love where parents argue all the time.
How would I manage??? Has anyone done it??
Things were different before please dont make me feel guilty or say we shouldnt have had baby, we both love him very much.

Teardropexplodes Sun 07-May-17 18:14:37

Yes, I did it. I won't lie, it was hard, but it's doable. He'll need to pay you maintenance for the baby and you'll have to see what you are eligible for in terms of tax credits/universal credit.

whatsmyname2017 Sun 07-May-17 18:16:29

Have you actually checked out what you would be entitled to? Go on the government website. You can see what you would get now while on maternity, then also put in your salary for when you return to work and see what you will get then too. You might be surprised.
Your DH will have to pay you maintenance too, whether he earns much or not.
What is your current living situation - do you rent or own jointly?
I'm currently going through a separation and work 4 days per week with 2DC and its manageable. You should get money toward nursery fees.

OhDearToby Sun 07-May-17 18:18:51

Me and my ex seprated before dd1 was born and honestly it was fine. I didn't work when she was tiny. I had no family nearby so the cost of childcare outweighed my earnings. I was on income support and recieved housing benefit which covered my rent. I know being in benefits gets a bashing but in the end they are a safety net and if you need them for a few years it's not the end of the world.

I loved being a single parent and was all I'd ever known it didn't seem hard. You manage because you have to.

I met my now dp when dd was nearly 3 and we now have a toddler and I'm due dc3 very soon.

Bluebellevergreen Sun 07-May-17 18:21:42

We live in a house that comes with Dh's job so we dont own it.
I have saved up some money as I saw this coming.
I am scared of not being able to provide for baby and I rather put him first and suck it up for a couple of years. DH is not a bad person and I dont want to take all his money either, but we just dont love each other.
Things get cheaper I think when child turns 2 with some free hours maybe I could live in the spare room until then?
I really want the best for my son and I dont want to hurt DH but I cant live like this... being with someone alone.
It is so hard already with baby but I do most of it.
I am scared of poverty, I have always worked and I am wise with spending

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