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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

MNHQ have commented on this thread

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 14 15

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

MNHQ have commented on this thread

Relationships

Is anyone awake? I think I was just raped

355 replies

AskingForIt · 07/05/2017 02:30

I'm in shock. I don't know what to do. My friends are sleeping

OP posts:

Report

Hamsolo · 07/05/2017 02:33

I'm so sorry to hear that. Are you safe now? Please phone the police, if you feel you can. I'm awake for a bit feeding my baby, if you want to talk.

SashaSays · 07/05/2017 02:35

So sorry this has happened to you. I agree if you feel you can call the police, do it.

apricotdanish · 07/05/2017 02:35

Same, also here if you need to talk. I would wake up one of the friends of you feel you need their support though, I'm sure they wouldn't want you to be going through this alone.

Dons1975 · 07/05/2017 02:35

Can you go somewhere safe? Is there someone you can call??

GoldStars3 · 07/05/2017 02:37

I'm here too. I'm sorry this happened to you. Is he gone? Can you wake one of your friends?

AskingForIt · 07/05/2017 02:37

Thank you. I'm so confused. I've known him months, we recently started dating. He said we could go at my pace as he knows I was raped before

OP posts:

AskingForIt · 07/05/2017 02:38

He left but is talking about killing himself

OP posts:

AskingForIt · 07/05/2017 02:38

He says he loves me and never meant to hurt me, he just got carried away

OP posts:

AskingForIt · 07/05/2017 02:40

Maybe I over reacted. He stopped as soon as I realised what was happening and he could see my reaction

OP posts:

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 07/05/2017 02:41

Get yourself somewhere safe, ignore his bullshit, and call the police OP. I'm sorry this has happened to you.

squoosh · 07/05/2017 02:42

His mental health issues are no excuse. He deserves no sympathy or understanding.

Could you wake one of your friends and tell them what's happened?

OlennasWimple · 07/05/2017 02:42

Do not shower or change your clothes

Call the police and report what happened, and mention that he is talking about killing himself

PLease wake up a friend and get RL support

BTW, you were not "asking for it"

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 07/05/2017 02:43

So he "started" without consent?

AskingForIt · 07/05/2017 02:45

I can't call the police. I reported my ex boyfriend last week for domestic abuse and they said that he raped me as he had sex with me while I was sleeping

OP posts:

AskingForIt · 07/05/2017 02:47

Yes. We have spoken about it lots and he knew I didn't want it to go that far and that when it did I wanted to use condoms. I kept clothes on specifically for that reason

OP posts:

Harrietf21 · 07/05/2017 02:47

Ignore him. He has to take responsibility for himself, all you need to do is take care of you.

Are you somewhere safe? If I was your friend I would want to be woken up for this. Please wake someone up and get some support.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

BusterGonad · 07/05/2017 02:55

You must call the police, please don't let him get away with it.

AskingForIt · 07/05/2017 02:57

I'm so ashamed it's happened again. What's wrong with me? I trusted him.

I'm not sure it even counts

OP posts:

TabascoToastie · 07/05/2017 02:57

You are NOT overreacting.

Him threatening suicide is not your responsibility and a lot of abusers use threats of self-harm as control techniques.

Please call a rape crisis centre - don't feel you have to call the police right away if you are not ready to. But if you are ready to, don't let the fact you've previously reported another man make you afraid, as it's sadly not uncommon for rape/dv survivors to be targeted by other abusers.

squoosh · 07/05/2017 03:00

What's wrong with me? I trusted him.

Nothing whatsoever. You were vulnerable and he took advantage of that.

sara221 · 07/05/2017 03:01

I am sorry this is happening to you, I concur with what others have already said. Please do call a RL friend, they will not care about being woken up. Do not wash, keep all your clothes, do not message him at all and keep any messages that he gives. Please do call the police, they will take this matter seriously. He knew about what happened to you last week and clearly is a predator, he will be expecting you not take action against him. The police will help and both matters will be dealt with separately. reporting should not deter you from reporting tonights crime.
Please get to somewhere safe, If you are at home-then just double check your doors are locked.
I am sending you hugs-please call the police and a friend.

sara221 · 07/05/2017 03:04

I have just read your new message-you are not at fault. You did nothing wrong and do not blame yourself.

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AskingForIt · 07/05/2017 03:04

Thank you. I feel sick and completely confused. And so so stupid

OP posts:

Laineymc7 · 07/05/2017 03:06

Im sorry op. Please wake your friend or call someone for support. You don't have to report it to police for now if you aren't ready. But you can self refer now to a clinic. They can offer you support and examine you, retain any evidence now you can then decide what to do at a later date. Please don't wash/shower and keep your clothes that you were wearing etc. The clinics are normally open 24 hours a day. Google the one in your area and call them for advice.

AskingForIt · 07/05/2017 03:07

I just want it to all go away

OP posts:

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