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how can relationships change so much?

(7 Posts)
Imi22sleeping Sun 30-Apr-17 13:10:12

I read hear all thw time about my dp is a knob etc.... my husband has totaly changed since the birth of our daughter mentaly and pshyically its like being married to a person that i didnt marry. But why did it happen? No sleep was 3 and a half years? Pressure of being a dad my pnd? Stressful job or are these all excuses? Im so sad he was the total love of my life but now he makes every day such hard work. I dont want to leave i want him to go back to the guy he once was. He is getting help for a mh condition but what caused it all me? I was here for all of it, our child? Im just lost.

yetmorecrap Sun 30-Apr-17 13:36:20

I totally sympathise, 21 years down the line for me and my DH is somewhat unrecognisable personality wise , the person I met in 1995 would I think he shocked at himself. Have you told him that you feel this way? He may have no idea as it kind of 'creeps up'

Imi22sleeping Sun 30-Apr-17 13:50:17

Do u mind do u still love him

jeaux90 Sun 30-Apr-17 13:51:48

Because you grow and adapt according to your experiences. I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago. Some relationships grow together and others don't.

Huskylover1 Sun 30-Apr-17 13:57:41

It sounds as though your life has totally changed since you married. He now has a stressful job, a child, a wife with pnd, and a lack of sleep. He most likely feels that life isn't much fun any more, and this is impacting his mood/character. Not blaming you for the pnd, by the way.

What can you do, to make positive changes?

Change of job?
Treatment for pnd?
Treatment for mh condition?
Taking turns to lie in?

Time for a big sit down talk, I think. Cards on table.

Imi22sleeping Sun 30-Apr-17 14:07:07

We have just moved closer to his job and that is def helping. He lnows and he is sad about it. Thanka husky your post is kind and makes me feels theres hope

YetAnotherGuy Sun 30-Apr-17 17:18:35

Very sorry to hear of your situation

One pointer might be - and what would he say about you? Have you changed?

You mentioned a mh problem - that's enough on its own to cause the situation

Please persevere - it sounds like you both need each other's support

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