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Relationships

An open letter to my bell end of a husband

83 replies

throneofgames · 30/04/2017 08:36

Dear Bell End,
As you gathered from last night's conversation, it's over. There isn't anything I like or can even remotely tolerate about you. Your attempt to gas light me last night was a very poor effort indeed. In fact, you tried it twice, pretending you hadn't said/done the following:

  1. Told me you hated me. You clearly said 'Why do we hate one another?' And I asked, 'So you hate me?' Because for once I thought we'd agreed on something and you stared me out. I pretty good indication of the affirmative. Yet you deny you did this.
  2. When our son was sick last night, I came to tell you and you rolled you eyes and huffed. I had to ask you to help and yet when I raised this as an issue, you said you were quick to help and how could I think otherwise?


And onto other matters:
  1. You love to check my phone. I never check yours. Why? I hope you're having an affair. Then it's proof for others what a prick you are. Not that I need to prove why I dislike you so much. But it would save me explaining all the little nasty things you do or omit to do.
  2. You tell me I never enjoy anything and overanalyse things I enjoy. You say you never enjoy anything with me. Great. Then leave.
  3. You tell me our disabled son will be fine and to stop being vigilant for his symptoms. I won't, because I need to know how to support him. Idiot.
  4. You're going away next week. Don't come back.
  5. Stop trying to make out I should be jealous of your friendship with a female. Even I can see she's not interested in you like that. And see point 3.
  6. Stop making a martyr out of yourself for doing the washing and putting the bins out. I employ a cleaner and I earn far more than you do. Also, stop telling me how to do my job. You're not trying to take an interest, you're positioning yourself as superior.
  7. Every word that comes out of your mouth is boring.

10. I genuinely used to feel scared of being alone. Now I'm excited. Really excited.
11. I genuinely thought I had been suffering from poor mental health. Nope, just 13 stone of bull shit.
12. Too negative am I? Life gets like that when you have a husband who belittles you, minimises your concerns and dislikes you to your core.
13. I'm not attracted to you, you fat fuck. But that's down to the fact you're a nasty bastard. Not due to your fat.
OP posts:
OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 30/04/2017 08:40

I really hope you are sending that. Sounds like you will be much happier without him.

throneofgames · 30/04/2017 08:46

Thank you. I told him it all last night in the pub. Literally can't wait for him to work away next week so I can have the space to plan the rest of my life. He's dragged me down for 6 years. Time to be free. But where to start?

OP posts:
debbs77 · 30/04/2017 08:49

Amazing!

throneofgames · 30/04/2017 09:00

I think I just need people to say, he sounds like a right prick, for it to feel real. Weird, I know. Has anyone on here got to this point or are at this point now?

OP posts:
blueRinser2002 · 30/04/2017 09:09

Fantastic . You must be right at the end of your tether . Very best of luck for your future

throneofgames · 30/04/2017 09:18

I really am. I'm having a lie in and he's doing his best Disney dad impression downstairs. Urgh.

OP posts:
Pollydonia · 30/04/2017 09:22

Go for it, life with him sounds shit.

Matellaestmater · 30/04/2017 09:23

Don't waste any more time. Be brave. Good luck

Ruddygreattiger2016 · 30/04/2017 09:25

That letter is AMAZING! My god he sounds like a tosser. As soon as hes gone start planning what YOU want your life to be, you sound very strong and capable and that is the best thing for your kids to see. Exciting times ahead!! xxx

Matellaestmater · 30/04/2017 09:30

My XH went away on a three week sailing trip. I packed up all his stuff and dropped it off at his mother's! Grin

throneofgames · 30/04/2017 09:32

I love that you did that! I just need to stay brave and focused. Best way of doing that anyone?? Bearing in mind, I've been crap at being alone in the past??

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 30/04/2017 09:36

You children will see you choosing happiness, which is the best thing for them and you.
Good luck with your new future.

TeaMeBasil · 30/04/2017 09:37

Blimey, just keeping re-reading that letter and imagining putting up with all that for the rest of your life should do it!

Keep thinking about how good being without him could feel - picture that entire life, all the positives!

Good luck, you're doing brilliantly!!

jeaux90 · 30/04/2017 09:37

Think of it like an adventure. You aren't quite sure how it will work out but you are excited anyway.

I am six years down the line. Best decision I ever made.

Good luck, stay strong and focussed xxx

throneofgames · 30/04/2017 09:38

Yes, I choose happiness will be my mantra!

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 30/04/2017 09:39

Oh and deploy business head in dealing with him, switch off the emotions, try not to react to accusations, shrug it off because you won't have to deal with that shit for much longer. Grin

WeeMcBeastie · 30/04/2017 09:41

This is brilliant and he sounds like a total cock. I didn't write it down but I told my ex exactly how I felt face to face. I finally snapped and couldn't keep up the pretence any longer. My final comment was 'I find you physically repulsive, you are a cunt and you stink' (he did and still does!) GrinI was worried about being on my own but I'm actually loving it. Good luck, stay strong and focus on your happier future without him.

throneofgames · 30/04/2017 09:45

I don't honestly have any emotions where he is concerned. In fact, if he was run over by a bus today, I'd be more worried about reacting appropriately. That sounds horrid, but it's true. No one has ever hurt me as much as he has. There's no coming back.

OP posts:
user1484578224 · 30/04/2017 09:46

is this the best way forward? How about seeing a counsellor

throneofgames · 30/04/2017 09:47

The thing is, he's great at speaking 'counsellor speak' and making me seem unreasonable. I don't know if there'd be a point to it.

OP posts:
WilburIsSomePig · 30/04/2017 09:54

It most definitely sounds like the best way forward throne. Counselling does not always help, you cannot make yourself love someone if there's nothing left there to start with.

I hope you go on to a brilliant, and happy, life for you and your DCs OP.

RandomMess · 30/04/2017 09:55

See one by yourself not with him Grin

Who is primary carer of your DS/DC?

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throneofgames · 30/04/2017 09:56

We work full time and my parents care for our son in the working week. He still lives here as the convo was had last night.

OP posts:
WorknameJimEllis · 30/04/2017 09:58

I genuinely thought I had been suffering from poor mental health. Nope, just 13 stone of bull shit

ROFL

pilates · 30/04/2017 09:59

Good luck Op, sounds like you are doing the right thing. Stay strong.

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