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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Need out

10 replies

user1466108618 · 29/04/2017 23:35

I want to leave my other half but know he would make it difficult for me.
We have just had another argument and i hate him and want away from him. Can anyone help on how i go about leaving with the dc?

OP posts:
Enough101 · 29/04/2017 23:45

Are you married? What's the housing situation, owned rented? In what way do you think he will make it difficult? Sorry for the questions, just don't want to give you irrelevant advice.

user1466108618 · 30/04/2017 02:44

Hi not married but have joint mortgage and have 4 kids. He would make it difficult by taking the kids off me threatening suicide if i left etc

OP posts:
thethoughtfox · 30/04/2017 09:44

Contact SS / the police if he does this (even if you don't believe he is serious). There is no way they would allow someone doing this to have your children. If he is serious, he needs mental health support; if not, this gives you leverage to minimise contact with him.

category12 · 30/04/2017 10:06

Get financial/legal advice about where you stand with the mortgage and residence of the dc. Plan what you are going to do and how, and do it.

If you're going to move out into a rental, for example, just get it sorted and moving van or whatever arranged, and do it. You don't need his permission or agreement to end things.

If you genuinely believe he will attempt suicide, call for help for him at that time. But he doesn't get to keep a relationship by emotional blackmail.

isitjustme2017 · 30/04/2017 10:51

Please get free legal advice. You can usually get 30 mins consultation free. If you jointly own your home, you cannot force him to leave (unless there is abuse involved), and if you leave you are still liable for half the mortgage! I'm currently going through this and being forced to still live together until our house sells.
Do you have any family you could stay with? Having 4dc will make that difficult I guess.
Please go and see a solicitor, and also check out what benefits your would be entitled to as a single parent.

Pollydonia · 30/04/2017 11:12

Are your family near enough to give you practical support?

Neverknowing · 30/04/2017 11:21

It is illegal to threaten suicide when someone leaves you, it's emotional abuse. Just take the kids and go, deal with everything else later. It's very rare someone would get full custody, there would have to be something very wrong so he won't be able to just take your DC.
If he tries to take your DC report him to the police and you'll get them back Smile

user1466108618 · 01/05/2017 23:10

Thank you for the replies i currently have no where else to go to with the children but according to him i wont get them. I think i really need to look into my options as its getting harder to live with.

OP posts:
MyheartbelongstoG · 01/05/2017 23:13

User, if I had a penny for every time me ex said the same as yours I'd be very rich indeed.

These are idle threats so you stay.

isitjustme2017 · 02/05/2017 08:55

Please ignore all his threats. He is not a solicitor and doesnt know the law. He's trying to scare you. Get an appointment with a solicitor NOW and tell them everything. There are ways you can get him out of the house.

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