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No self esteem- how do I change this?

(6 Posts)
muntcunch Fri 28-Apr-17 18:03:51

Since my ex left 15 months ago (found out recently there was indeed an ow) I have no self esteem.

I'm also quite angry at my situation and feel like this comes across in general conversations.

I just feel generally crap about myself and want to change.
Things I do know, I'm a nice person, I'm kind, I've been told I'm attractive and funny. But have no idea how to actually instill these things in me to be happy with myself.

Any ideas?

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans Fri 28-Apr-17 18:14:56

That's more or less where I was when I split with my ex (no ow though, just a relationship that should have ended years ago).

Being nice, attractive & funny is all stuff you have to take on trust from other people, and that does depend on you having the confidence to believe it, I think. You need to find ways for you to impress yourself.

Can you set goals for yourself and then be proud / reward yourself when you meet them? I did that, then looked back over a month and thought, well, I did this, and this, and that... well done me!

noego Fri 28-Apr-17 18:53:09

Go dating. Let other people confirm that you are attractive. Personality, character. eyes, body, funny, intelligent, humorous etc etc.
Never ever believe what one person says to you. Its all BS and somehow somewhere you know it.

muntcunch Fri 28-Apr-17 19:04:48

I find dating does the opposite, I think I've lowered my standards and end up deflated and thinking wtf then despairing at men in general and my situation !!!

BeMorePanda Fri 28-Apr-17 19:13:09

For me coming off hormonal contraption made a MASSIVE difference to my self esteem.

Counselling might help.

noego Fri 28-Apr-17 19:13:15

Not my experience muntcunch. Loads of compliments. Loved them and keep em coming. Was starved of all that for 30 years.

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