Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Hate being touched since having a baby

(11 Posts)
crazypenguinlady Fri 28-Apr-17 09:11:14

I had my son two months ago. So for nearly the last year, I've been pregnant, breastfed and am always holding the baby. My body hasn't been my own (not really the issue as I adore my little boy). I breastfed for the first 5 weeks but he's now on formula and of course I have to carry him everywhere as he can't walk yet! As much as I love him, when DP has him I like that I can just have my body to myself for little while. I'm talking just sprawling out on the settee while we watch TV or have a bath.

Since he's been born, aside from the Baby, I hate being touched. DP asks me to cuddle up with him on the settee but honestly,I like just lying there without being touched. We've had sex once since our son was born two months ago.

I should emphasise that DP is wonderful, hasn't pressured me in any way and generally a great partner/dad. This is about me. I just can't bear any physical contact when someone else is holding the baby as I think I'm all 'touched out'. DP sometimes comes and puts his arms around me or strokes my leg or wants a cuddle on the settee but I'm actively avoiding it. I just want my body to myself for short periods.

The baby is slowly starting to go down in his crib/bouncer for short periods so I'm hoping it'll improve with time. He had tons of trapped wind in the first few weeks and liked just being walked around (He'd scream if you sat down!) so I spent most of the time dealing with that. When DP even touches my leg or something,i just get irritated and bat his hand away. When I'm not holding the baby, i just want to 'be' without any physical contact from anyone.

Is this normal? I haven't spoken about it to him yet, but I'm worried it's going to start affecting our relationship.

crazypenguinlady Fri 28-Apr-17 10:32:25


Highmaintenancefemalestuff Fri 28-Apr-17 10:34:45

I was exactly the same. Spent 9 months being kicked, poked, prodded. Even Dh putting his arm around me would irritate me. I just wanted my body to myself.
After my 2nd DC it didn't bother me as much.
I have no idea if it's normal or not, but your not alone.

coffeeneeded Fri 28-Apr-17 10:45:29

Not alone at all! Two years ago I had a miscarriage and I have since carried and given birth to my twins. I'm only just accepting my dh's advances. He's been wonderfully supportive about it but it's still hard to accept what I now see as my body.

Give it time. At least, that's what I'm telling myself. flowers

VimFuego101 Fri 28-Apr-17 10:48:21

I felt the same way. DS is 5 and I still find myself screeching 'EVERYBODY STOP TOUCHING MEEEE'.

Notonthestairs Fri 28-Apr-17 10:51:36

Yes I felt similarly all touched out. I had two children within 17 months and felt like I spent years with someone on my lap. They are 7 & 9 now and I chase them for hugs!
Your body doesn't feel like your own right now but it will come back to you!

Notonthestairs Fri 28-Apr-17 10:54:25

Posted too soon - my DH gave me the rage when he just looked like he wanted to hug me. I did try and explain but I don't think he ever really understood but he was patient and that made all the difference.

Chops2016 Fri 28-Apr-17 10:55:34

Yes this is totally normal, especially when breast feeding. Newborns are (understandably) very clingy and it feels like your body isn't your own. Don't worry, the feeling will fade in time once LO becomes more independent and you get some of your autonomy back.

Congratulations, by the way smile flowers

LBOCS2 Fri 28-Apr-17 10:58:11

Completely normal. You get 'touched out'; the baby goes down and you just want to have some time alone in your own skin for a while.

Newborn baby time is the worst for it, it does improve.

Smartiepants79 Fri 28-Apr-17 10:59:46

Yep. Still get it 5 years on. I have my children needing me all day. Or, as a teacher, I have someone elses children needing me all day.
I have also realised since having the children that I'm a bit of an introvert. My DH is very physically affectionate and sometimes I struggle to reciprocate without hurting his feelings.
I need alone time to feel sane.

scottishdiem Fri 28-Apr-17 15:35:06

You need to chat to him about it though. It can very easily look like rejection and so many people post here on MN that its when the baby came that things started to become problematic in relationships.

Batting his hand away is basically telling him to feck off. If you were both tactile, huggy people before the baby then this is 100% altering the dynamic of the relationship.

You are complaining about being touched out. Your husband may have a similar complaint at the opposite end of the spectrum.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: