Whilst technically he didn't cheat he did lie in order to get you back which would be a deal breaker on its own, the fact he could so coldly cut off his child in this manner is truly awful, I couldn't be with someone who could be so cruel to his own baby.
He doesn't want to be responsible for his actions. He sounds like a jackass with all the trimmings. I feel sorry for the little baby. Not even born and already unloved by its father. You really want to be with this guy? What's so great about him?
Im more annoyed at the fact he asked her to get an abortion i mean seriously????? He should have wrapped it. If he lied about that im sure there is more hes lied about. God and now hes just going to choose not to help out with the child..
@GemmaRalph one thing I deffinalty wouldn't do is feel sorry for him he obviously didn't feel sorry for you lying to you all this time . And I completely agree with @gluteustothemaximus. I know this must be really hard for you but just take your time to really think about it
@GemmaRalph he needs to take responsibility for his actions and worn protection when having a one night stand he needs to step up instead of asking for an abortion I find it discusting to say the least !!
This will be incredibly hard for all concerned. Take nothing he says now as absolute truth, when that little baby arrives I would be willing to bet things will change, and so they should. He needs to man up and be a part of his son/daughter's life. Sounds like he's telling you what you want to hear.
I'm not sure. Maybe he lied because it didn't really mean anything to him and didn't want to ruin things with you. Finding out she's Pg must be a massive shock to him and he's not had a chance to process it yet. I think it's unfair in both the baby and him if he has nothing to do with the baby and he might be saying what he thinks you want to hear.
It's up to you whether you want to continue in the relationship knowing that it's all changed considerably.
Technically speaking you were apart when he slept with the other girl. He probably lied to better his chances of getting back with you. He is probably in panic mode about the baby. Are you happy to support him if he decides to build a relationship with the child? The mother was also wrong to try and keep the child secret. Would have been much worse if the child started asking about his/her father when a teenager and turned up on the doorstep.
It's a tricky one. Why did he break up with you in the first place? He was perfectly entitled to sleep with other people while you weren't together, but the fact that he lied to you raises some questions, particularly when he asked you about your Interim relationships. How do you feel about him having a child with another woman before you are seriously thinking about having children together? How do you feel about your eldest child not being his eldest child? How do you feel about him wanting to deny his child a father? I'm sounding like a big old lady here, but at 28 you shouldn't be settling for second best. If he, as he really is, is not what you want, then finish it. Otherwise you be the best step mum you can be.
My partner & I (both 28) are from broken homes and have always been so adamant about dong it right so when he found out was devastated & asked her to get an abortion.
Asshole for this reason alone. He wasn't doing it right, he wanted to extinguish a life simply to make his own life easier. You should be thinking hard about why you would want a life with such a monstrous selfish bastard.
Weather he likes it or not your lives will change even if he has nothing to do with this child, it's his so he will have 18years to now financially support it for. It would be a deal breaker for me, at 28 with no ties go start fresh with someone new who doesn't lie and can give you all you want and that includes your own family
I feel sorry for him too. Forced to be a father by a one night stand. I'd be gutted. But he's made his bed and all that. He's decided he doesn't want to be a dad like she's decided to be a single mum. Don't see how a man doing this is any different to a woman giving a child up for adoption or having an abortion. How do you feel about what he's done? And the aftermath? Could you deal with him having a child? and not seeing it?