I heard a song today on my play list. Not heard it for so long and it opened a wound and resulting rage. The song:
Where have you been by Real Big Fish
The lyrics really resonated with my situation. Basically its about an ex who has broken up with the guy she left him for and wants to come home. So those who have read my post know my ex wife left me and the kids for someone else. That it all went wrong for her with the OM. And now she wants to come back to me, our family and home.
Anyway I thought emotionally I had pretty much put all my emotional issues around this to bed over the last two years. But today this song opened a wound and I realised that I am still very angry at her deep down. Not for the affair, that's forgiven. But for abandoning me and the kids. She was supposed to be my soul mate. The person that I could rely upon to be in my corner through the darkest of times. I was and always would have been there for her. I did everything for her. Not only did she put me in the darkest place in my life where was she when I needed her? Where was she when I needed someone to talk to, to hold, to stand shoulder to shoulder with and fight the bad times? She was in the arms of another not giving a flying fuck about me and the family she was tearing apart. And at the moment am absolutely fucking raging. I am so angry. I think deep down I have always had this anger about the way she abandoned me. Maybe I am being unfair to be angry about her abandoning us because she was never my property, she is her own free person? But I just cant stop feeling angry the way she shit on us all.
I have realised that I will probably never forgive her for abandoning us all the way she did and I know there is 100% no way she can ever return home. Sorry for the rant but I am just a bit emotionally battered again.
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Relationships
Abandoned and angry
6 replies
1DAD2KIDS · 27/04/2017 18:50
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