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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

How can you mend a broken heart?

15 replies

daisymai08 · 27/04/2017 18:18

I am truly broken hearted after a man left his wife met me now has gone back for the kids.
He doesn't love her but he can't bear the thought of not being with them everyday.
I respect that but he was and is the love of my life,I'm 41 and this is the first time I've even properly been in love.
Can you please help me piece myself back together for my own sanity and my kids.
Can't stop crying.....

OP posts:

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Adora10 · 27/04/2017 18:26

All you can do now is learn from it and move on.

If he really wanted to be with you, he would be.

PacificDogwod · 27/04/2017 18:28

You cannot mend a broken heart but the passage of time will help you to recover from disappointment.

The main learning point here ought to be to not get involved with a married man/father tbh.

Paperdoll16 · 27/04/2017 18:46

Maybe he never left his wife but she's found out?

Sorry your been caught up in it either way. How long were you with him?

DoIDontIhavethetalk · 27/04/2017 18:47

Time
Friends
Getting yourself out
Therapy
Chocolate
Favourite TV show marathons
Dating

💐

Beyondworried · 27/04/2017 18:49

Time, time and time
it's shit but you will be ok

Arealhumanbeing · 27/04/2017 19:02

Hi daisy. I'm so sorry you're feeling like that. Heartbreak truly is the most awful process.

Take it minute by minute. Keep breathing and putting one foot in front of the other. And remember this is about him not you.

daisymai08 · 27/04/2017 22:28

We've know each other for 10 years he's been a friend of mine for a long time. I absolutely refused to go anywhere near him when he was wife his wife he separated from her and went back to the home.
I absolutely know that I've been taken for a fool really grass is always greener but I've only split up with my husband within the last year and he saw that as an opportunity to make loads of promises and make me feel special.
Now i just feel used and angry/upset but I really fell for him so I'm just mortified.
This isn't how I usually operate....
thankyou for your support
Xx

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UpAndDownToday · 27/04/2017 22:43

I'm not sure, its very hard to deal with the pain. If you have faith you can really find comfort there. Go to the local church, find one thats friendly and contemporary maybe HTB linked.

You will then connect with some amazing people who can actually put balm on that wound. I know it sounds odd but I went through the same and miraculously the pain left.

Arealhumanbeing · 27/04/2017 23:44

Did you have feelings for him for the whole ten years? If so you really need to take care of yourself. That's a long time to be attached to something. Even if if it was only in your mind until he left home.

daisymai08 · 28/04/2017 06:42

No I didn't not until he pursued me to death after the split of my husband made me feel completely unconditionally loved filled me with promises and dreams told me he wanted to marry me, said he'd never ever loved anyone the way he loved me and now today I feel so angry and used.

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noego · 28/04/2017 09:15

There will come a day when you look back on this and see the situation for what is really was.
You were in a break up and vulnerable. He took advantage of that and played you. Love bombed you knowing he wasn't really in love with you. If he was he would have stayed with you. IMO you have dodged a bullet. It is a bitter lesson to learn, but you will recover and move on. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you will.

Zaphodsotherhead · 28/04/2017 09:24

I found anger was useful. Anger drove me to the gym, to run, and that helped to burn the pain away. And the pain fades, especially as you start to see him for the lying manipulative toss-cock that he truly is.
He got you at a vulnerable time, that's all. Your marriage break up had done half the work for him. Stay angry, use it, and be strong.

scaryclown · 28/04/2017 09:25

I don't know for sure, but listening to Teal Swan thing on YouTube about it brought me actual physical pain for a few days, but really helped. I think if you are feeling the sadness it is better than not, so i suspect you are already healing. It's hard, but being grateful for being able to love and feel and how feeling awful is a reminder of being alive and human sort of helps me..

daisymai08 · 28/04/2017 15:48

I agree with you all - thankyou x

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daisymai08 · 28/04/2017 15:49

Will check out Teal Swan

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