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anxious child 50/50 contact

(8 Posts)
SciFiG33k Wed 26-Apr-17 22:58:21

DSD(5) has been to see two counselors now about her anxiety and highly sensitive nature. She had about 5 sessions with the first counselor this time last year and is on her 6 session with a new counselor. On both occasions DH has been to the first session and then told he doesnt need to attend anymore and just mum should come to the rest. The only suggestion both counselors have given is to change access to 50/50 one week with mum and then one week with dad. Is this just the stock standard suggestion they give to all parents? Is it odd that its the only suggestion they can come up with that could help? Currently DSD is with dad 5 nights a fortnight 2 nights one week and 3 nights the other.

Mamaka Thu 27-Apr-17 21:58:04

Just bumping for you as don't have any experience sorry. I would imagine 50/50 would feel a little more predictable for her than current setup though.

Suspendersformybelief Thu 27-Apr-17 22:19:23

Is there a reason the advice hasn't been taken up?

I don't have any experience with children's counselling but I have a five year old DD and I find she is more unsettled when the changes between home and her dad's become more frequent. She is with him two nights a week.

It used to be one night in the week and one at the weekend but the frequent changes became too much and she finds it much better when the nights are together.

She is not as anxious as your DSD but two nights one week and three nights another night make life too hectic for her.

If she were my DD and my ex didn't want to do 50/50 then I would prefer to help her feel settled by going the other way and letting her stay at home for longer periods of time and going to her dads EOW instead

Suspendersformybelief Thu 27-Apr-17 22:22:41

Just to add with school starting the general pace of life has really picked up for my DD and this added to her feeling unsettled. I do think lots of changing between houses can get to some little ones.

SciFiG33k Fri 28-Apr-17 04:53:40

We used to have every Wednesday and EOW but that was worse so like you we moved the days together so it was less unsettling.

It hasn't even been considered, DSDs mum said straight up she wouldn't go a week without seeing DSD and DH said he wouldn't want to change his work to accommodate it.
DSDs mum had a baby last year a few weeks after DSD started school and that's when DSD really started struggling. She had always been unsettled before but it got lots worse after that.

Lonecatwithkitten Fri 28-Apr-17 07:35:27

My DD is older, but her counsellor has only suggested changes to contact when this was what DD wanted. So the parents need to find out if this is the child's request.

SciFiG33k Fri 28-Apr-17 08:08:51

DSDs mum has been at all the counseling sessions and has only told DH that its what counselor has suggested. She hasn't mentioned the counselor asking DSD at all.

OverOn Fri 28-Apr-17 08:16:45

At that age, I think two nights together with dad is better than a week with each parent - it's too long to go without seeing either parent.

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