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Should I just forget and move on

(7 Posts)
user1493220754 Wed 26-Apr-17 16:49:49

Last year I lost someone very close to me, it hit me really hard and my anxiety, which I've had on and off over the years returned. I was also diagnosed with depression. I turned to my husband for support he didn't know how to handle it and I feel he withdrew from our relationship, not much communication, support etc. Just before Christmas we had a very rare night out which I was very much looking forward to. At the end of the night, after a few too many, he brought up the subject of a threesome, told me he fancied someone else. I left went home and the next day he moved in with a friend for a few days was full of apologies doesn't remember saying it. I let him back and we have been trying to get the relationship back on track. 2 weeks ago after another rare night out and again after a few too many he really laid into me, I've sucked the life out of him, he hates me, I'm a mess, wishes he never met me and a few other things. As I say I suffer with depression as well as anxiety and have very low self esteem and all of the horrible things I think about myself, which I know deep down are not true, and that I confided in him about he through back in my face and said the reason I think them is because they are true. Again the next day couldn't remember what he'd said was full of apologies etc etc. However, I can remember them every single nasty hurtful word he said this time and the last time and I can't get them out of my head. I'm so upset and Pi£££ed off. I';m still coming to terms with the loss of someone close, seem to be getting on top of my mh issues have just started a new career, which I am doing great at, and feel like he has just kicked me back a year. I don't feel I have the energy to ask him to leave and he's pretending everything is fine. I'm stuck

Adora10 Wed 26-Apr-17 17:07:26

You are not stuck, the relationship is dead; he's full of contempt, you can't just pretend he's not saying these things.

You may find your mental health improves dramatically once he's gone; he's not doing you any good at all; he sounds awful OP, asking you for a threesome when you can barely communicate with each other; I'm afraid I'd not trust him and I'd end it now rather than waiting for him to do it.

user1493220754 Wed 26-Apr-17 19:04:35

I feel stuck, I've just started out in a new career his family help a lot with childcare, it would mean me quitting. I also feel like I don't have the strength to go through a break up. If I didn't have children though I would be long gone.

TheNaze73 Wed 26-Apr-17 20:22:59

OP, alcohol is a truth drug. I'd leave, it sounds like he hates you

Pinktails Wed 26-Apr-17 20:34:53

You're living with a snake in the grass, no wonder your mental
health is suffering. You really should leave before you're driven
in to the ground. It will be difficult but you'll come out the other
side and feel better in the longer run.
I don't know hoe you can bear to breathe the same air as him, what
a vile, disgusting thing to do to his own wife. The bastard.

Sample1936 Wed 26-Apr-17 20:38:23

Couples counselling?

Separation?

lovecreameggs Wed 26-Apr-17 20:54:19

They're his kids too so he also needs to sort out childcare if you want to work, it shouldn't all be on you

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