Hello All,
I have been married for almost a year. I don't have a car so I am unable to pick up my husband and his family members from the airport.
I live with him and his family and although we don't pay bills (except contribution towards food) I do the house work (share with others).
I don't rely on my husband financially. However since the wedding planning started I have noticed that he expects me to pay for things that we as a couple need. He always has a way of getting out of it. My family paid for the wedding and his family gave me some gifts (as I gave him gifts) and spent the rest of the time complaining about how much they have spent.
I moved in with his family because he wanted to as it helps him financially (but it also helps me as we don't have to worry about rent) however I don't feel completely at home as I don't have the same privileges as others. for instance, others can pick on if they feel I have done something wrong, but I can never say anything back. They will also belittle my family (indirectly) and always get reminded of how amazing their family and relatives are. So I have to deal with these weird and awkward politics but generally they are nice. The other thing I have to deal with is they have a lot more expectations of me which I would never expect from my husband towards my family. for instance - they have relatives all over the world and they expect me to visit them and live with them for as long as necessary - but (although my husband never mentions this) I will be expected to financially look after myself and pay for my travels.
So I am dealing with a man who is lovely in everyway except when it comes to money - he resists spending money on things we need, he expects me to pay for things that benefits his family and sometimes expects me to pay for things he needs. I on the other haven't been able to ask him to buy things that I might need. He is afraid of me financially depending on him eventhough when we talk about it, he says he wants both to be able to depend on each other.
So I have become quite resistant to paying for things he needs (even though in a situation where I felt my husband respects the value of the money I earn- I would happily spend on him)...
I am posting here because I am not sure if I am wrong on this. Before my husband and his family members were flying out to a relatives wedding, they kept talking about how will they get home from the airport (I thought the solution is straightforward - book a taxi online - its cheaper than airport), and I knew they were waiting for me to offer paying for a taxi.
I chose not to because I don't believe I get the respect I deserve from them. My husband never mention it until recently whilst we were skyping he asked me playfully why can't I pick him up? He didn't ask "would it be okay for you to pick us up". I responded by saying "it will cost a lot (as we live quite far from the airport) for me to get a taxi to go to the airport and then bring you all back, instead why don't you get a taxi from the airport?" to which he responded "in that case I am not getting you a gift as my luggage will get heavy"... I told him what he is doing is making me feel really awkward as he is being really rude. But he thinks there is nothing wrong with what he is doing and only I am making it awkward.
So what do you think?
I must state that I gave him a piece and a half following his comments over skype but currently we are avoiding each other - which is easy as he is millions of miles away.
Thanks
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Relationships
Should I pay for my husbands taxi fair for airport pickup
Bristhi123 · 26/04/2017 12:48
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