Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Can anyone tell me what to expect from mediation?

(5 Posts)
Lovelilies Tue 25-Apr-17 22:15:50

Long story, ExP and I have recently split for the last time.
He's dicking about regarding looking after our 2 DC, so I'm going to take it to mediation to get a proper plan in place.
I don't know anyone IRL who's been through this and was just wondering if anyone has any advice?
Feeling pretty shit about everything and want to try and move on for he sake of my lovely DC sad

Changedname3456 Wed 26-Apr-17 09:11:47

Mediation works if both parties want it to and are prepared to be open and honest. Give it a go - it's a lot cheaper than the court route.

My advice would be to try your best to be business like and work out what you're looking to achieve from it ahead of going. If you're looking to formalise arrangements then know why you want that. Have some examples of when his dicking around has caused problems (to you and DC).

Try and focus more on the impact to the kids, and the benefit to them, of formalising things. He's more likely to take that on board - otherwise you may leave him mental room to dismiss your concerns as you being pissed off with him.

thegirlfromthehill Wed 26-Apr-17 17:54:51

Very little IME other than endless foot-dragging and grasping of monies by ExH - as @changedname3456 says, it only works if both parties want it to work. It is cheaper than court, but still not cheap. Sorry to hear you are in this position. Make sure you stick to your guns about what you want.

Confusednc Wed 26-Apr-17 18:05:59

Exactly right, as pps have said. Mediation works as long as both are reasonable. With my exh, it dragged things out, cost more money and was just another game for him. It is helpful to a point. Can be great if you're not dealing with a totally unhinged waste of space. I very much hope you're not!

Lovelilies Wed 26-Apr-17 20:44:46

I'd say he is pretty unhinged. At the moment I'm getting marriage proposals and the next minute he's informing me of his plans to go to Dubai, India, New York, Nepal and Spain all in the next 6 months 🙄
Oh, and he wants 50/50 residence even though he's looked after DD2 (10m) a grand total of 4 times without me since she was born.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now