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Tough love needed!

21 replies

Blueshoess · 24/04/2017 20:45

I'll try to keep this brief but don't want to drip feed, I just need a good head wobble off some feisty ladies of mumsnet.

Basically, I've been a single mum for a while now and although I've dated I've not really clicked with anyone. After a while I was sick of going on first dates and since I'm super busy in my final year of uni, I decided that a FWB situation would suit me better. Yes, you probably know where this is going.

So I met a guy - totally not my usual type. Not absolutely gorgeous but a professional athlete for my local sports team, Canadian, intelligent but very reserved. From day one of meeting him I instigated everything, and he seemed to like that. Our personalities are like ying and yang basically. Conversation via messaging has always been tedious, his responses are always short and seem cold but he's self admittedly not great at expressing himself. Anyways, he knew the deal from day 1. That I have a child and just looking for casual get togethers. He said that was good for him as his visa runs out at end of the season and hes not really sure what will happen in his career next/if he will retire.
So we slept together..the grand total of 4 times in 5 months. Christ, just typing it out sounds ridiculous. I think it's important to mention that the sex was goooood, and quite honestly I have never been with a guy in such good shape. Its also relevant to mention that my last relationship was with a guy who constantly made comments about my weight. So here I am, having great sex with a Canadian athletic babe who is worshipping my body so good that I feel like calling up his mom to say well done for raising such a champ. That good.

So obviously I wanted to see him more but there was always an excuse to do with his sports schedule/no sex before a game and being a single mum I had to juggle around childcare and uni work. But he always kept me hooked in, saying he wanted to see me. But then he became more and more distant, occasionally just ignoring my invitations - I would roughly message him once a week when I was free to invite him over. He would do this really annoying thing where he wouldn't give me a straight answer, then 3 hours later say he couldn't due to training the next morning or whatever bullshit excuse. This would go on for weeks until he would spontaneously drive over and fuck my brains out. Its been exhausting. Ive tried so many times to quit him and say look, you obviously have too much going on and I feel like I'm wasting my time asking you but he just wouldnt let me close the door. Or when I have done, I've always caved after a week and made contact again - which he always responds to.

Anyways the final straw came. He's finished his sports season and is due to leave the country in a couple of weeks. I asked him out right if he wanted to see me before he goes and he said "I would like to, but I can't guarantee that it will happen but I want to yes, that's the best answer I can give". Which to me sounds like " I want you to keep asking me and if no better options come along then maybe". Final straw came where I invited him over last night and he just completely ignored it. I told him to do me a favour and don't bother replying, wished him well for his future whatever and that was it. That was his chance to be like well she said don't contact me, but I woke up this morning to a passive aggressive "I was sick last night if you really need to know".
I told him I was done with asking and that I was going to delete his number. There's a part of me thats relieved because I'm like well, he's leaving the country so see ya pal. But then I found out he might not be leaving and that they might give him another years contract - the sport that he plays for is a sport that my son loves and we often go together to the games. (I had been to the sport before I met him but didn't recognise him from the team as I hadn't really been paying attention..obviously after meeting him I might of paid more attention and honestly - I was looking forward to him leaving so me and my son could enjoy the sport without me feeling like a stalker! Haha)

So yeah, I've deleted his number. And I feel like shit basically. I want him to be like " no bluessss don't walk away" but he won't. He doesn't give a shit, he led me on, and now it looks like he will be back for another season which means I'll have to sit there growling while my son chants and cheers him on (my son has no idea BTW and genuinely loves the sport)

Tell me I'm an idiot. I feel gutted that I've deleted his number.
So sorry this is so long, but it felt cathartic typing it out.

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Garlicansapphire · 24/04/2017 20:54

So sorry OP. But it was going to end at some point because its just never going to be a real relationship. Just you repeatedly asking a guy if he will do you the honour of servicing you. Another year, more of the same, and still, maybe greater, heartache.

Move on and find someone who can give you something, make the running, ask to see you, take you out, make you laugh, be interesting and witty. That aint mister boring canadian (however good in bed he is).