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DP that he hardly ever has any feelings for me. ?what would you say.

(22 Posts)
wombleflump Mon 24-Apr-17 16:02:02

Me and DP are always arguing recently. Been together 3 years not married. One DC 19months. All we seem to do is argue. He annoys me as he does little in the house or anything practical. He wants to give up work and move to the country (Wales!). He drinks too much. WE sleep often separate rooms. Me with DC. No physical relationship for months. Last night he said I didn't respect him as I shouted at him for eating the portion of dinner I made for the baby to freeze. There was a whole dish of the same thing warm in the oven as I told him for him. He says he hardly has any feelings for me. What would you do? if your DP said that to you?

Ecureuil Mon 24-Apr-17 16:03:28

I'd cut my losses and leave.
Seriously why would you stay with someone who has no feelings for you?

SparklyMagpie Mon 24-Apr-17 16:03:35

I'd leave.

What's the point in staying with someone who doesn't love you or have feelings?why would you want to stay knowing they didn't feel the same?

SandyY2K Mon 24-Apr-17 16:05:45

I'd start to look at how to separate, to coparent well together and look to the future without him.

It's clearly not a happy relationship for either of you.

Bluntness100 Mon 24-Apr-17 16:06:38

Why are either of you still there? You clearly annoy each other and are not compatible. End it amicably, sort out access for uour child and move on with your lives.

AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 24-Apr-17 16:06:43

He is not a partner, let alone a dear partner is he?. I would now make plans to separate completely from this individual.

What do you think any DC are learning from you two about relationships here?. Is this really the model you want to be showing them?

This relationship is well and truly over really isn't it; his drink problem is enough to be apart from him now let alone the rest of what you have written.

wombleflump Mon 24-Apr-17 16:07:11

I don't think he can remember what he said as he was drunk and he cant remember the next day normally. He obviously meant it at the time though.

ElspethFlashman Mon 24-Apr-17 16:08:49

What a waste of your time he is.

BarneyRumbleton Mon 24-Apr-17 16:10:33

Do you think he meant it at the time, or do you think he meant it all the time?
When I get into an argument I can get caught up in the moment and what I feel right then seems like the ultimate truth, only for it to change once things have calmed down. On the other hand, people are often more honest when they are drunk.
He doesn't sound like he's behaving very lovingly towards you though 😕

wombleflump Mon 24-Apr-17 16:12:11

I do concentrate on the baby rather than him. She needs her mum. And I work almost full time. He doesn't do that much to help so I don't always have the energy for what he expects. I feel bad leaving DC other than when I am at work as still a baby.

SheldonsSpot Mon 24-Apr-17 16:12:34

Even without his comment, your relationship sounds like utter dogshit.

Why are you with him?

TwatteryFlowers Mon 24-Apr-17 16:13:54

Whether he remembers or not, and whether he was drunk or not, the fact is he said it and therefore must be thinking it deep down. I couldn't stay with someone who said that he has no feeling for me. You don't sound like you're happy in your relationship and neither does he so it really doesn't seem worth continuing to put the effort in with it.

2014newme Mon 24-Apr-17 16:15:08

Leave obviously

AnneLovesGilbert Mon 24-Apr-17 16:17:14

Cut your losses love and split up. When you look 5 years into the future what do you see?

Can you see a different future, where you're happy alone and doing things that make you happy and fulfilled? Or meet someone knew, who cares for you, makes you laugh, feel good about yourself, is an equal partner in all the different parts of life, good and bad?

AnneLovesGilbert Mon 24-Apr-17 16:17:58

Would you want your child to feel this way in a relationship? If not, want better for yourself too.

Cammysmoma Mon 24-Apr-17 16:20:56

I would leave - but I know sometimes that can be easier said than done. You're worth so much more. It'll be so hard but in the end you'll be asking "why didn't I do that sooner?"

BarryKwipkee Mon 24-Apr-17 16:28:27

He wants your respect even though you work full time and he does little around the house, and shouts at you....................

I agree that if you leave, you will be relieved and wish you'd done it sooner. I left a jackass too. The run up to making the decision is hard for some reason but when it's done, there's clarity!

Ceto Mon 24-Apr-17 16:32:11

What does he propose to live on if he plans to give up work and move to Wales?

Lennielala Mon 24-Apr-17 16:36:54

@ceto on air by the sounds of things. OP he sounds lazy and he sounds like he just wants you to look after him sad x

caffelatte100 Mon 24-Apr-17 17:29:10

He's not much of a catch is he? Urghh, very disrespectful and rude, lazy and a drunk to boot. I cannot imagine being with someone like this. How will he live in Wales with no job? What's his plan? Will he just drink more and become lazier? Just no!

Minime85 Mon 24-Apr-17 17:54:25

I'd. E leaving and spending my time on enjoying my dc whilst young

NellieFiveBellies Mon 24-Apr-17 17:55:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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