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Condoms- has he been faithful

(14 Posts)
LisaX09 Mon 24-Apr-17 15:15:25

Hi- just wanted some advice really. I am wondering if I am being paranoid or whether I should talk to my boyfriend. Two years ago I got out of a very physically, emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship. I am doing well but as a result of that relationship I have incredibly low self esteem.

6 months ago I started a relationship with a man who seems lovely. He bought a box of 12 condoms for us to use but we only used 1 as I went on the pill.

A couple of weeks ago, his daughter was going through his drawers and found 2 single condoms in their wrappers. I asked him why he had the condoms in his drawer and he responded with they were bought to use with me but then I went on the pill. At the time I thought that was fair enough.

However it's niggling at me now. His daughter found 2 single condoms, not a box of 12 with one missing. The condoms come in the box attached as twos and we only used one so surely there should be a box of 11 left with just one single condom? Maybe they fell out of the box- but then why 2 single ones? Also, there was no box in the drawer. Maybe he's used one or some by himself. Oh I don't know.

I'm worried about bringing it up to him. I really like him and if he's been faithful, I don't want to scare him off. Up until this point I had no doubts whatsoever that he'd been faithful. I do know my self esteem is very low and am wondering if it's just me being silly. Should I should bite the bullet and speak to him about it and if I do, how should I word it? Or, should I leave it as I am just being super paranoid? Worried he'll be put off me as some nutty woman. I don't want to lose him. Any advice please? Please be gentle with your answers. Thanks

tissuesosoft Mon 24-Apr-17 15:17:25

If you're concerned with cheating, maybe go back to using the condoms (extra birth control and protection against STIs!)?

tissuesosoft Mon 24-Apr-17 15:18:08

And I would speak to him, if he's as nice as you feel he is then you should talk to him!

witwootoodleoo Mon 24-Apr-17 15:22:30

Maybe he kept the box in the bathroom or a cupboard and took two out to keep in the drawer? That's probably what I would do rather than having a whole box in there. Clutters the drawer less and allows for easy access in the heat of the moment.

Honestly if you have no other reason to doubt him don't overthink it.

Pinkheart5915 Mon 24-Apr-17 15:25:21

Hopefully you both had sit checks before you started have sex without a condom, And if your concerned about cheating you should go and get yourself checked again now

Could be a number of reasons for the condoms;

Maybe he didn't keep them in the box, in the same draw could of split the pack between bedside table/wallet and chest of drawers

Maybe the 2 you found in the drawer were old ones and not the ones from the box he brought

Maybe he used some when he was mastubating

you could ask where the condoms are?

happypoobum Mon 24-Apr-17 16:40:52

Please don't say you just started having unprotected sex with him as soon as you went on the pill? shock

I would have a root around and see where the others are. If you can't find them I would assume he has used them with someone else, sorry.

LisaX09 Mon 24-Apr-17 19:49:53

Thanks for the responses- I guess I should try and talk to him about it. I'm so unsure of myself after my past relationship that I just don't know if I've got the confidence to do it or what to say. If it turns out he has done nothing wrong then he might just think I'm a nightmare and paranoid fool.

SandyY2K Mon 24-Apr-17 19:57:49

I agree that he probably took the rest out of the box or put the box elsewhere and just left 2 in the drawer.

Also, did you actually check the drawer or just see the 2 condoms she brought out?

Huskylover1 Mon 24-Apr-17 20:01:41

Go through the drawer, I expect the rest are hanging around in there. If not, like PP said, maybe he only put 2 in the drawer and the rest are elsewhere. Why didn't you just ask him "where are the rest?"

LuluJakey1 Mon 24-Apr-17 20:04:52

Ask him. You should be able to ask him without feeling bad about it or without him getting annoyed.

LisaX09 Mon 24-Apr-17 21:23:59

I know some of you think he might have taken 2 out to keep in the drawer and put the rest somewhere else, but I can't think of why he'd need to do this as we don't use condoms and haven't since October when we used one out of the pack of 12. Driving myself mad- just need to ask and hope I don't offend him.

LisaX09 Mon 24-Apr-17 21:24:35

Thanks everyone x

SandyY2K Mon 24-Apr-17 21:43:53

Way back when I was dating. My BF shared a house with other guys and they would give each other /lend condoms if they needed.

I'm quite sure if a friend of his (or the flatmates) was visiting and mentioned needing a condom, they would give it. That's how they were.

You still seem a bit edgy about it so ask him what happened to the rest of the condoms in the pack, as you recall only using 1 of them with him.

Dothehokeykokey Mon 24-Apr-17 21:49:26

Condom wanks can be ace. Just saying.

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