I'm a long term lurker but don't usually post. But I really need your opinion right now.
My boyfriend of 2years lives 2 hours away. He comes to stay a night on weekends when I have the kids. I don't take it for granted that he will come on Fridays night, and i understand if he has other plans, so I always confirm with him before I book a sitter.
Last Wednesday I asked him (twice actually) if he's coming as he's selling his car and said he will take it to the car dealership in Saturday. He said that yes he will come to spend the night and then leave Saturday morning as usual.
Wednesday night we're talking on the phone and he mentions that his parents (who are spending a month at their vacation home, 2h drive from my house and from his house) have invited us to spend the weekend with them. So he says that he told them I can't come as I have the kids but then he tells me that since he has till Tuesday to sell the car to the dealership (quote expires on Tuesday but he can get another one) he was thinking of driving there as a last drive in his car. In my mind, I thought he means that he comes here on Friday then drives to his parents' on Saturday and then drives home on Sunday. So I didn't really discuss it with him and we talked about other stuff.
Well Thursday evening we're on the phone again and he says we still didn't decide regarding this weekend. And I said what about it. He says if he should drive to his parents as it would be his last drive there. I say just decide and let me know what you want. He says no he asks me cause I'm his partner and we decide together. I say well we're going on my weekend without the kids and you can drive my car. He says no he wants to drive his car for the last time. I say yeah go on Saturday from my house. He says no he can't do both trips on one weekend. I say (frustrated) so what are you telling me? That you won't come here after I booked a sitter? And I can't cancel her on such short notice. So what, I'll just stay home with a sitter that I can barely afford? (And he also knows that I spend my week looking forward to Friday night with him and if he doesn't come, we won't see each other for another week). So he says "fine, so I won't see my parents" and hangs up on me!
I text him to tell him not to come here, to which he replies that he won't either. So I text that this is why I don't give him my input because it always ends this way (hanging up on me when he doesn't like what I say) and that I just expect him to make a decision and stick to it when I'm planning around his decisions. Then I text that "I made other plans for Friday night so I won't pay the sitter for nothing (not that you care)". Friday he drives to his parents (we follow each other on find friends) and Friday night he texts "good night, not that YOU care". Sunday night he just texted "hello?". I haven't replied yet.
There has been other issues lately that have made me feel that although I really really love him, maybe he's not the one for me. But just based on the facts that:
1. He hangs up in my face in the middle of an argument
2. I seem to be slipping down the list of his priorities to the point that I now rank behind a car (I know that I'm not at the top of his list. He has recently changed jobs and has no flexibility to see me during the week, and has to even work on week ends when we're together and I'm absolutely fine with that and am very supportive of his career. He also has another activity that is essential for his mental health, and I support and encourage it. He openly told me that these 2 things have the priority over our time together and I told him that yes they should)
Should I leave him even though I truly love him? Or do I sound petty and entitled?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Should I leave my boyfriend?
Skippingabeat · 24/04/2017 05:58
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