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Its over...

(4 Posts)
Ohdearwhatnow00 Sun 23-Apr-17 20:37:51

Been together 9 years and have dc 4. It's been shit for a while but he's reared up at me over a stone chip on the car door hmm and after a massive slanging match in front of dc and him driving off with her has now come home and told me he's really moving out this time, which I'm kind of glad about but am also shitting myself about as I don't know what I'm going to do about money.
He started his own business about 4 years ago just after I had gone back to work part time after having D.C. And while he was building the business my salary along with benefits was our only income. We are now in a much better position D.C. Goes to preschool I private school and was intending for her to stay there. I gave up my job a year ago and am now employed through the business, paid a wage but don't actually do anything.

My problem is I did apply for schools locally just to see if we got a good one but we had to move out of the flat in that area at short notice and are now not in the catchment area for the school we were accepted into as I wanted to be closer to the private school. There is no way I will be able to afford to send her there now and if he has to pay maintenance and to live himself then I don't see the money coming from him either. Also I'm obviously out of a job and wasn't incredibly well paid when I did work so chances of earning good money aren't good. The new flat is also expensive and would be out of my price range as a single parent. Family are a 2.5 hour drive away and I really don't want to move back to that area, have also not really stayed in regular contact with them. I know he's not going to make this whole separation easy for me because he can be a bit of a bully. I don't know what to do or even where to start.

Comments from anyone who has been in this situation or can give me some advice would be very much appreciated.

isitjustme2017 Sun 23-Apr-17 22:11:21

How far away have you moved from the school she was accepted into? Being out of the catchment doesn't necessarily mean she will lose her place. Why don't you contact the local authority and find out how the land lies now you have moved.
Please also check what tax credits you would be entitled to as you might get more than you think, plus your DH will have to pay you maintenance. The government website has a calculator for tax credits.
It might all sound very worrying right now but things will work out for you. Unfortunately sacrifices often have to be made when we separate. I'm currently going through this and having to give up a lovely house. Small price to pay to be happy in the end though.

Ohdearwhatnow00 Sun 23-Apr-17 22:31:55

Hi, the school is 6.5 miles away now so think my chances are slim just gutted this didn't happen sooner as all the places in the good schools will have been allocated, will definitely call the local authority and find out. Just seems so totally overwhelming at the moment but you're right I'm sure it's the best thing to do! Thanks for the advice, hope things get better for you too flowers

Ohdearwhatnow00 Sun 23-Apr-17 22:45:46

I actually just read your post about your ex's behaviour, omg it's like your are explaining how my oh acts down to a t! Winds dd up constantly then moans when she starts whining, constantly puts me down but usually includes himself in the insults so he thinks it's ok "we are getting so fat" etc. We're deffo better off without him, what were we thinking confused, but like you say it's worrying what they will be like with the D.C.'s when we aren't around to play peacekeepers! Xx

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