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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Viagra - what would you do?

14 replies

nonsense123 · 23/04/2017 16:01

Crazy weekend no sex as husband horrible Friday night and very drunk last night so I'm a bit irritable. Tidying up house (as I always ends up my job) and just found Viagra hidden in my husbands sock drawer... as in inside socks. It's prescribed with his name on so must have had to go to doctor which shocks me as I can barely get him to engage with health for anything else - dentist, injuries health checks etc. Do I bring it up or not?

OP posts:

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loveyoutothemoon · 23/04/2017 16:40

Maybe he's hid it as he's embarrassed? Has he had problems getting hard?

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YetAnotherGuy · 23/04/2017 19:01

I use Viagra for ED - staying hard, that is

It has to be supplied on prescription but this can be online - which is what I do - don't see why the rest of the population should pay for my enjoyment. So doesn't necessarily involve your own GP

Difficult to say why he's got it. If you never have sex, then doesn't sound good. But he may have got it in case you did

I think you need to ask him in a nice non-judgemental way - like "I never realised you worried about ED - how long have you felt like this"

Amazing product, btw

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nonsense123 · 24/04/2017 13:59

We have sex regularly 2-3times a week normally except for when I'm PMT grumpy...but that was my surprise is something in our sec life I didn't know about not sure if helpful to mention it or not.maybe I'll just embarrass DH he has always been more shy about sex than me although I thought we had a lot of fun these days...

OP posts:

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SandyY2K · 24/04/2017 14:28

I would not say anything about it. I'd keep an eye out and see if the amount has reduced and you don't have sex to match up with it.

I don't believe being married means you have to tell your spouse every last thing, including medical issues.

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AutumnRose1988 · 24/04/2017 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Changedname3456 · 24/04/2017 15:23

Do I bring it up or not?

Sorry - couldn't help it. More seriously... no you shouldn't. Some things are best left alone, as long as you're sure he's using them with you. ED is a very sensitive subject. I can see why you could be a little hurt that he doesn't feel he can mention it, but it's no reflection on you or your relationship.

At least he's bothered / enjoys it enough to have gone and had a very embarrassing conversation and sorted a prescription out. Lots of threads on this board revolve around men with this problem who then refuse to see their docs.

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Adora10 · 24/04/2017 16:26

I'd have to bring it up, no secrets in my relationship and to me this is a biggie as it's affecting me also; maybe he needs you to help him talk about it?

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Smeaton · 24/04/2017 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sucue · 24/04/2017 16:47

Well posters were correct on the other thread, here's hoping they're correct on this one.

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SpookyPotato · 24/04/2017 17:42

I would definitely ask. It's something couples should talk about, plus viagra doesn't come without risks so his wife should be aware he is taking it.

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Changedname3456 · 24/04/2017 18:34

Smeaton - I read the other thread too. The diff there was the guy was getting them sent to work and had them in a work bag which (presumably) his wife wouldn't normally look in.

Here he's keeping them at home in a place he'd have to suspect that OP would look in - if only to occasionally put clean socks away - and also somewhere where he'd logically want them in order to take them before sleeping with OP.

IMO, it would be more natural to keep them in the car, or at work etc, if he was having an affair or seeing sex workers. But yeah, you might be right although obviously I hope not.

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HarmlessChap · 24/04/2017 18:53

Its not that easy to conceal its use. It has to be taken 45 minutes to an hour prior to sex so its not easy to be spontaneous. I get quite flushed when I take it as well.

TBH if it was something I could have avoided mentioning to DW then I might have preferred to, while I came to terms with needing it. I certainly didn't discuss it with my DW about when I sought help, only once I had got my prescription and had taken one to test the effect did I talk to DW and even then I found it a hugely difficult conversation to have.

Use of ED meds should not be seen as synonymous with cheating but the effect is quite significant so, while there are risks involved, I can see why guys who have no real need of it would use it, especially if they are hoping to have more than one bout of sex within in the same 4-5 hour period.

I think it would be best to mention it to get it out in the open, his reaction may well tell you if he's been cheating, but be aware that if he is finding it a difficult subject he may be somewhat defensive due to that.

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SeriousSteve · 24/04/2017 23:20

Having taken them in the past due to a medication side effect, I learned you can only get them on prescription for very, very few serious medical problems. Mine was filled with a private prescription. ~ £1.75 a tablet, I preferred this than the online route and given the glut of medication I take.

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nonsense123 · 25/04/2017 12:02

Thanks all. After all that I don't think I'll mention it. I really don't have any concerns regarding fidelity. And I'm definitely in the camp that relationships don't need to have everything in the open. If he's dealt with it and we're having fun what's the up side. Thanks all.