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He has put my family in danger - I can't believe it

(55 Posts)
user1490044978 Sun 23-Apr-17 14:04:56

Long story short, I have been in a relationship with this man for 18 months and throughout the majority of that time was being harassed via email by his 'ex', the mother of his children. He has sworn on many occasion that there is no truth to anything she said and that she was just a little crazy.... turns out he is a master liar and has actually been with her all along! We broke up upon this discovery but her harassment of me has continued... she sends messages calling me a slag and whore and says that he is telling her that I was a prostitute who has been blackmailing him. Usually I stay silent but finally I had enough and decided to tell her the truth and provide evidence to prove that what he was saying was entirely untrue. Initially she thanked me and I hoped it would be the last I heard from her... sadly not, the man in question has given her my home address and she emailed me again making threats of violence against myself AND my children!!!!!!!!!!

I am disgusted that he could do that to my children and make us unsafe in our own home...

This was the first man I let in after my marriage ended... what a fool I was to trust him!


SoloDance Sun 23-Apr-17 14:06:38

Print off the emails and contact the police.

Mavisblewitt Sun 23-Apr-17 14:07:33

Agree. You need to contact the police x

Silverdream Sun 23-Apr-17 14:08:11

This is awful. You must inform the police and show them the emails. Do this straight away. Take advice from them regarding blocking her etc. But you must inform the police asap.

blueskyinmarch Sun 23-Apr-17 14:09:08

I agree you need to speak to the police and show them the messages.

user1490044978 Sun 23-Apr-17 14:15:31

I agree that I need to speak to the police but she lives in Europe so I'm not sure what they will be able to do... I have no address for her, just a name and email address!

I just cannot believe he would do this to me when I've done nothing but tell the truth after being lied to by him and abused by her for so long....

I'm shaking.... I'll show you all an exert from one of her vile emails

I've blocked 5 email addresses already... she just starts again from another

P1nkP0ppy Sun 23-Apr-17 14:19:11

Change your email address to something completely different then inform the police. You have his address so the police can deal with him too.

Bluntness100 Sun 23-Apr-17 14:21:52

I think you need to tell the police, this is harassment and whatever else. She's making actual threats. Keep the texts , don't reply and inform the police.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 23-Apr-17 14:22:26

Inform the police immediately. They take such things seriously.

HecateAntaia Sun 23-Apr-17 14:23:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HecateAntaia Sun 23-Apr-17 14:24:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick Sun 23-Apr-17 14:25:10

Give all you have to the police and let them deal with it. If it continues they could contact her local police to go have a word.

It's unlikely she's going to turn up at your door if she's not even in the country.

user1490044978 Sun 23-Apr-17 14:26:17

That's good to know... I am going to the police, was just worried they couldn't do much with her in another country

Thanks for the advise

PacificDogwod Sun 23-Apr-17 14:27:34

Just joining the chorus here: don't engage her (or him!) directly and report to the police.

How hideous!

Bluntness100 Sun 23-Apr-17 14:29:04

She actually sounds deranged. And deranged can be dangerous.

tribpot Sun 23-Apr-17 14:30:45

Definitely police. But bear in mind he may not have given her your address, she may be saying this to be more threatening. Equally it's not very likely she will actually bother to travel over but I know I would be afraid if I received that kind of message as well.

Bear in mind as well that 'she' may actually be him. Esp as it's from different email addresses. Why does 'she' keep starting up from new email addresses, how does 'she' know she's been blocked?

Make sure all your social media accounts are locked down and warn friends that he/she may attempt to impersonate you on social media, that often seems to be a form of cyber-bullying.

I really hope 'she' gets bored with a lack of response soon and leaves you alone, OP. What a horrible thing to happen.

HmmOkay Sun 23-Apr-17 14:32:12

She may have made up the fact that your ex-boyfriend told her where you live. In order to get at you.

Or he might have only told her that you live in Coventry or something just to get her off his back. And then she might have tracked down your details from social media/electoral roll or something.

Not that it matters really at this stage. But it might not have come from him.

Seeingadistance Sun 23-Apr-17 14:32:27

Go to the Police as soon as possible.

user1490044978 Sun 23-Apr-17 14:34:33

Sadly I know for a fact she has the address as it was written in the first email!

Also it can't be him behind the actual messages as in the past I would sometimes receive them whilst he was with me in person.

It's just disgusting!

intergalacticbrexitdisco Sun 23-Apr-17 14:36:44


She sounds really nice and well-spoken, though. Wonder why things went wrong?

FrenchLavender Sun 23-Apr-17 14:43:32

Why does she keep referring to your children as piggy kids? Is that some sort of racial slur?

She does sound deranged and if she's in another country then they are probably empty threats and rantings from a nut job, but do tell the police anyway just to be on the safe side.

Trills Sun 23-Apr-17 14:45:47

in the past I would sometimes receive them whilst he was with me in person.

Emails can be set to be sent later.

I'm not saying it IS him, but receiving emails while he is there doesn't prove that it's not him.

user1490044978 Sun 23-Apr-17 14:47:02

It's definitely a racist slur, she is black and I am white and she seems to have a real issue with that as apparently I have infected her man with 'white germs'! It really is disgusting the stuff she comes out with!

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow Sun 23-Apr-17 14:50:02

Who is Herbert? You might want to ask mnhq to remove that as there's names in there.
I also wouldn't rule out him being involved, bet there is a way to send delayed email or he's in cahoots.

pumpkinpilot Sun 23-Apr-17 15:01:24

Contact the police and then ignore her.

People generally do not incriminate themselves or travel internationally to attack someone. It would be extremely unlucky and unlikely for this to happen.

She is lashing out and yes it is scary but try not to worry too much as it is unlikely to lead to an actual physical confrontation. She says it will happen in a few years and this is said purely to try and hurt and intimidate you. Again I will say that if she really planned to do this she would not tell you about it first.

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