Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

So tonight I hand delivered a letter to my parents cutting contact

(7 Posts)
mayhemensues Sun 23-Apr-17 02:41:26

I have been loosely non contact with my parents for a number of years due to childhood abuse. But i had done it in such a way that it always seemed to enable them to try and make things seem just fine. Consequently - I have realised that for years I have got very anxious around any kind of family occasion- which is frankly most months.
So, now I have written saying that due to the abuse during my childhood I want nothing to do with them and for them to stay away.
It's a massive leap- and frankly I feel shit scared in a sense, the sense that I will feel that I need to watch my back. I also I suppose feel an element of deja vu in the sense that I disclosed in my teenage years but frankly the system didn't protect me in the way that it should have

DixieFlatline Sun 23-Apr-17 03:27:54

Well done OP. A brave decision. Don't expect them to take being called abusive lying down, though.

Aquamarine1029 Sun 23-Apr-17 03:38:30

What you did was very brave. You should be proud of yourself. I wish you nothing but peace in the days to come.

user1492232552 Sun 23-Apr-17 03:58:06

Block everything now, I did the same in 2000 and the cow used the letter against me and read it out at every available opportunity to as many people as possible.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 23-Apr-17 08:30:42

You were very brave to do that I would be fully prepared now for the backlash, they are not going to take this "attack" lying down. They will deny everything and accuse you of being difficult. Toxic people like nothing more than a fight and the last word.

I would also be prepared for the flying monkeys; i.e. well meaning but useless friends and relatives sent in by your parents to attempt to get you to mend fences and or otherwise reconcile. Ignore such people. You may also now hear of a previously unknown health scare/hospital "tests" re one of your parents (to further control you and bring you back into line).

Do visit the "well we took you to Stately Homes" thread on these pages for further support as well.

Shayelle Sun 23-Apr-17 08:47:13

Also, speaking from experience, not that you havent already, but be prepared for a time of personal grieving for yourself, for the parents and love you never have had, even though you didnt see much of them anyway, going NC means saying goodbye. I found i went through a full grieving process. Denial, anger, sadness/depression, eventually acceptance. It does eventually heal though, and you will find peace x

mayhemensues Sun 23-Apr-17 13:44:03

Thank you DixieFlatline- I don't expect them to take it lying down sad even through they should
Aquamarine- brave or stupid- either way it was my only way forwards at this point, thank you
User149....... I don't think they have many people they can use it against me on- but yes we'll see.
Attila- I hear you and agree with all you say. Neither of them are in the greatest health but I've managed to distance myself well of late.
Shayelle- thank you - there is a lot of truth in there too x

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: