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Sis in law has not said congrats on birth of my baby? Am I being harsh ?

(175 Posts)
2015mom Sat 22-Apr-17 11:22:16

My sister in law well husbands sister in law (husband's brothers wife) has still not said congratulations to me on the birth of my son!

Am I being harsh in expecting somebody to say congratulations by text/phone/card or person?

Everybody else family, friends people I don't even know have congratulated me and my hubby on the new addition.

LO is now 10 weeks and still nothing.

Everybody has come to visit my son expect her and her kids.

My mother in law called today to ask if we were coming over to her house and I said no (they live with the in laws) I said I am not coming over and nor is my LO because the other daughter in law have not congratulated us or even come over to see the new addition. Mother in law started making excuses for her and I said so her mouth and hands aren't working that she can't call me or text me. Mother in law didn't know what to say other than I know.

Mother in law covers up for her but then moans about her behind her back lol. Am i being harsh for punishing in laws of not seeing their grandson just because the daughter in law cannot be bothered with saying congrats. I refuse to go to their house and I told mother in law to come to our house so in laws said they will come tomorrow.

The other daughter in law has three boys herself and we have gone to see each of them within days of being born and helped them loads.

Oh well can't choose family can you lol

I have got the attitude that I will do as much for people as they do for me so I will not bother with her anymore.

Hsmumma Sat 22-Apr-17 11:39:50

I have nearly the same scenario, my daughter is 8 weeks old and we have not had a congratulations off either my partners brother or his partner so my BIL/SIL. There was a family celebration a few weeks back and they didn't even say hello never mind congratulations. MIL says they sent a card but I haven't received one and I made sure to tell her that when I last saw her as I think it's awful that they haven't acknowledged the new member of the family in any way. I don't get on with BIL but I always have with SIL so I find it really hurtful. If it was the other way round my MIL would have gone mad at us but as it's not she's not bothered. It has also made me not go round knowing they are there so I exactly see your point.

AlletrixLeStrange Sat 22-Apr-17 11:40:12

Is she maybe just an awkward/shy person?
My STBH's SIL is pregnant and I'm super awkward and a bit shy and quiet (until I'm really comfortable with someone) so I haven't congratulated her. I would want to but I'd worry she'd think I was weird as we don't spend mountains of time together.
Of course when the baby comes if we see her I'll say it then.

I realise this sounds odd, I think I have some social issues and worry too much what other people think of what I do and/or say.

NotStoppedAllDay Sat 22-Apr-17 11:44:42

You sound a bit pathetic tbh! Why do you need every single person to come round or phone you?

Think you need to grow up

2015mom Sat 22-Apr-17 11:48:04

No she is not shy at all... she has a big mouth and doesn't stop yapping hahaha

Thanks hsmumma I thought I was being stupid about having an issue with it. If they weren't so closely related then I wouldn't expect it but they are closely related.

I think it's rude ... other members of the family have said she's just jealous .... I know she has made comments to mil about mil favouring and doing more for me than her! But I honestly think it's the opposite mil does more for her and I don't care hahha she can't cope with her kids so needs the help. She can't afford her own place because she's always spending money on clothes and gadgets... not my fault hahaa

I just told mother in law the truth because I ain't pussyfooting around hahaha

Alletrix your sis in law is pregnant and saying congrats when u see her next is fine. We have a new addition who is now 10 weeks and she has not even acknowledged him and not brought the kids round to see him.

MorrisZapp Sat 22-Apr-17 11:52:58

Has your husbands brother sent his congratulations and brought his kids round?

Asmoto Sat 22-Apr-17 11:55:13

I wouldn't view a spouse's sibling's spouse as 'closely related' so I think you are being a bit over-sensitive. I'm not sure why you feel it should be important to her - from your criticism of her, it doesn't sound like you're very good friends - and if you think so little of her, why are her congratulations something you covet?

I wouldn't be sending any cards to someone whose opinion of my life was I don't care hahha she can't cope with her kids so needs the help. She can't afford her own place because she's always spending money on clothes and gadgets... not my fault hahaa confused

Chops2016 Sat 22-Apr-17 11:56:34

YABU and petty.. Why do you care if she's congratulated you? I honestly wouldn't have even noticed when my DS was born if somebody hadn't sent me a congrats, I had enough to think about with the new baby.

Your MIL is clearly stuck in the middle and she and the baby are both being punished because if this pettiness. You are lucky your in laws care and want to see the baby, and it would be beneficial for the baby to bond with their grandparents.

Rise above it. You will encounter much bigger problems as LO grows up.

LookAtTheFlowersKerry Sat 22-Apr-17 11:57:32

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KateDaniels2 Sat 22-Apr-17 11:58:12

I think you both sound as bad as eachother.

You are refusing to go to MILs Because you feel slightes by mils sons wife?

If she has made it clear that she doesnt like you, i can imagine you getting pissed off if she turned up and asked for a hold of the baby. Or the congrarulations werent heart felt enough.

And surely your bil could have brought tge kids round?

ShatnersWig Sat 22-Apr-17 11:58:25

Has your husbands brother sent his congratulations and brought his kids round?

This. There seems to be a lot more at the back of this regarding this SIL than the lack of a visit/card/text. Where is the equal venom for your BIL you is related by birth rather than marriage? Has he visited, sent a card/text?

QuiteLikely5 Sat 22-Apr-17 11:59:02

You've got a cheek slating your SiL when you have refused to visit your MiL for something that quite frankly is nothing to do with her.

Wise up.

KateDaniels2 Sat 22-Apr-17 11:59:24

And your other posts make me think tgete is a good reason she is keeping away from you and its not jealousy.

noitsnotme Sat 22-Apr-17 11:59:59

I thought she was being a bit rude, but having read the rest of your comments, you are. What's with the "hahaha", for things that aren't remotely funny? To make it look like you are joking? Because you clearly aren't, and look down on her from a great height.

Underthemoonlight Sat 22-Apr-17 12:00:31

You need to grow up you sound so immature and ridiculous

Chops2016 Sat 22-Apr-17 12:00:49

I don't care hahha she can't cope with her kids so needs the help. She can't afford her own place because she's always spending money on clothes and gadgets... not my fault hahaa

And after reading this i totally understand why you haven't had a congrats. I wouldn't have sent a congrats either if I were in her shoes and that was your opinion.

You sound very immature.

user1491572121 Sat 22-Apr-17 12:01:21

Has your husband's brother been to see the baby or sent congratulations?

NavyandWhite Sat 22-Apr-17 12:02:27

Your husbands brother has been round with a card and present then but not his wife?

usernumbernine Sat 22-Apr-17 12:04:22

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NavyandWhite Sat 22-Apr-17 12:06:02

It's all a bit Jezza for me having read the first post again.

Anditstartsagain Sat 22-Apr-17 12:06:29

I feel sorry for your MIL you both sound immature and you sound nasty and bitchy.

LordRothermereBlackshirtCunt Sat 22-Apr-17 12:08:03

It sounds like you need to grow up, particularly now that you have a child.

usernumbernine Sat 22-Apr-17 12:08:51

You sound like a complete and utter nasty midden hahaha

No wonder you're sil doesn't want anything to do with you hahaha

I wouldn't be seeing you either if you were related to me hahaha

teaandcakeat8 Sat 22-Apr-17 12:09:07

If you don't care hhaha why did you make this thread hhaha?

GinAndTunic Sat 22-Apr-17 12:09:43

Am I being harsh ?

Yes. You are.

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