As the title says really. Been separated since last September. I still have feelings for him. I think he feels the same? Neither of us are with anyone. So would sex with him confuse us both? There's a lot of sexual tension between us. We both want to. But I just don't know if it's right! Help!
I think you need to unpick this whole thing a bit more, OP. Why did you split up? Is there a chance you could get back together? Have you talked to him about it? I think you need to start there before you sleep with him again, otherwise you will just end up horribly confused.
Maybe depending on why you split. . Would giving him sex be him having the good bit of a relationship without the effort of maintaining one? Every minute with him is one less your mind is open to a new relationship with a better man imo.
We'd just got in a rut. Arguing loads and such. Neither of us knew what we wanted. We've never ruled out getting back together & always said we'd just see what happened. But I only really know how I feel don't I? There's no way of me truly knowing how he feels!
Do you see him around a lot? He could just be dangling the possibility in front of you, and once you've done it, he'll just hop off and get on with his life. Be really careful. Even when you think you're going into situations like that with your eyes open, like "yeah, this is cool. We'll just enjoy ourselves and draw a line under it" and even when the day after you think you're cool with it, it can still go tits up a few weeks down the line when unknowingly you were expecting more to happen It's so annoying
Ooh tricky territory OP Could you sit down and talk with him? I've been in this situation. You could come out deeply hurt Maybe a conversation about how you both feel or where you both stand would be better before jumping into bed?
Thing is, I don't know how I feel either. I know I have feelings for him. But I'm also happy being independent of him too. But.... I want to! Haha! People always say sex with an ex is a bad idea don't they? Oh!
I think if it's just sex, then go for it. You however, sound a bit too attached still & if it's going to mess with your head, then don't. A lot of people love & want NSA sex & have feelings at all other than lust.
If you just want a shag, better to have it with someone you don't have a circus' worth of baggage about. Shagging him when you still have feelings for him means crying a lot and having your heart shat on, plus drawing out the end of your relationship and not being able to move on.
Either get back together with him properly or steer clear. And don't get back together with him unless something is truly different, e.g. one of you has sought therapy for the issues that came between you or whatever. Reunion tours usually fail, because all that's happened is that people romanticise the past once they're no longer putting up with the problems.
I did this...for 3 years after splitting up. Don't do it!! I ended up heartbroken all over again. Plus used and with little self confidence or esteem. I was still in love with him and he wasn't but it was easy as we were both single, I thought he'd change his mind but this obviously didn't happen! Now trying to get in a good place and feel better about myself but it is very tough. Better just to not go there!