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How do I repair this friendship?

(5 Posts)
CaulkheadNorth Fri 21-Apr-17 10:16:34

I have a close friend, who I've known for about 9 years. We shared a house for the last five years, until March.

She bought a house, and so I moved out. Her house has a lot of work needed, most of which she wants to do herself. A lot of our mutual friends have helped with this.
However, each time I offer, she either says she isn't doing the house on the times I could do, had too many people already helping or replies about midnight saying sorry, she was busy. The replying at midnight thing is something she has always done.

Ive suggested we do other things, such as a bike ride or food, and we have once. She invited other people along which was nice, but meant I didn't get to see her. When I said this, she said that she is an introvert and would rather see people all in one go to save always been with people.

I miss her, and what our friendship was like in the past. Any suggestions on how I can improve things?

lovecreameggs Fri 21-Apr-17 10:22:13

I'd accept it and move on, sounds like the feeling is not mutual

Homey91 Fri 21-Apr-17 10:30:54

This sounds one sided and unfair on you, I would stop messaging for a while and see if she reaches out to you, if after a month or so and no response maybe send one message to suggest meeting for a catch up when convenient for her, if she still fobs you off then don't upset yourself anymore. Try not to get your hopes up, friendships drift apart but quite often paths will cross again when you least expect it in the future.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Fri 21-Apr-17 10:39:48

So you lived together for 5 years until one month ago and since then you've been endlessly offering to help with her place and go out? And she's already been out with you as well? Give the woman a break!

I think you need to adjust your expectations now you're not living together. Even some good friends only see each other every few months because they have busy lives. If she's still responding to your texts I'd say she still likes you, but you really need to back off a bit.

CaulkheadNorth Fri 21-Apr-17 10:44:18

I haven't been endlessly offering. I text and said something like "I'm around Monday night, Wednesday night, Sunday afternoon, do you need any help with the house" that sort of thing.
Prior to this, we did most things together, and would still text during the day as well

She has just messaged me asking if I can refer her to join my bank as we both get £100...

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