Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

He's being a bastard!

(97 Posts)
sammyjayneexx Fri 21-Apr-17 08:35:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sammyjayneexx Fri 21-Apr-17 08:38:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShatnersWig Fri 21-Apr-17 08:42:00

Ring Women's Aid when he is not at home and plan your escape with them into a refuge.

watchoutformybutt Fri 21-Apr-17 08:51:48

I think you should get the kids to school. You'll be awake anyway and it will be better if they're out of the house.
Then call women's aid. It's no wonder you're feeling how you do. You need to get out.

Costacoffeeplease Fri 21-Apr-17 09:10:41

Make this the time you actually get away - he's been a cunt for years, women's aid will help

wizzywig Fri 21-Apr-17 09:12:50

He is a shit. Please let this be your turning point

BusterGonad Fri 21-Apr-17 09:13:17

First things first, get the kids to school, regardless of how shot things are the most important thing is their life and education.

BusterGonad Fri 21-Apr-17 09:13:37

Shit not shot!

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe Fri 21-Apr-17 09:15:39

Take your kids to school then come home and get some sleep

Zoflorabore Fri 21-Apr-17 09:17:05

Op please think about taking the children in, always better then being late than being off.

Their eduction should not suffer because nobody is prepared to take them to school.

I really do feel for you, you sound utterly defeated.
Please do not think you would be better off dead, your children need you and you need them.

Is this a long standing situation? It seems unlikely that last night has made you feel so low to the point you are at.
I'm assuming there's much more to it?

Please also don't under estimate how sleep deprivation can affect you, been there, it's horrible and your MH can really suffer.

All the very best, I hope you're okflowers

vanrecovered Fri 21-Apr-17 09:27:22

You must get the kids to school! They can't be kept off because their parents are tired. I've virtually crawled to the car with illness to take my DC before now. You must step up, even if your shit head DP won't. But I do sympathise flowers This relationship sounds all wrong. Banning you from the living room? Throwing toys at you? It's not right. You don't have to stay in it. It may seem / feel impossible, but there are ways of leaving. But as a first step, take the kids to school, stick on CBeebies and get some toys out, do the bare minimum and try to get some rest when your baby naps.

differentnameforthis Fri 21-Apr-17 10:07:09

You know that this is an abusive relationship, don't you? You need to make moves to leave.

TheElephantofSurprise Fri 21-Apr-17 10:14:14

I'm sorry, I don't have much sympathy for you.
Yes, you have a cunt of a partner and you need to escape.
But you are making your children suffer to make a point to your husband. That's not on.
Get the children to school, even if they are late. Make an appointment to speak to the relevant teachers (pastoral care) about issues at home that might affect attendance, punctuality and attention span.
Than as everyone else says, get in touch with agencies who might be able to help you and get this show on the road. You and your children need rid of him.

Happybunny19 Fri 21-Apr-17 10:25:44

I agree with elephant, not taking your kids to school is not acceptable. We all suffer sleep deprivation but that doesn't excuse neglecting our other DCs needs. Your dh is clearly an arse for threatening you but was he also lashing out due to tiredness? He did help out and can't be criticised for going out to work and getting sleep.

feathermucker Fri 21-Apr-17 10:34:31

You certainly need to seek help regarding your relationship, but get your kids to school FFS!

Butterymuffin Fri 21-Apr-17 10:37:55

Agree, get the kids to school and then look for help to leave this situation. Are you getting treatment for your depression?

LittleMyLikesSnuffkin Fri 21-Apr-17 10:43:07

I'm not going to have a go at you about the kids not being at school thing but for your own sake take them in if you haven't already and use the time they are there to phone women's aid and get some much needed advice about what to do now because you and your kids can't go on like this. I've been where you are and ended up in refuge as a result but the the alternative was doing myself in much like you feel like doing right now and I wasn't going to leave my poor kids with a cunt of a dad if I was gone.

If you have trouble getting through to women's aid keep trying and while you do collect up as much paperwork and things as you can (birth certificates, passports, benefits letters, bank statements, any of his payslips, medication for you and your kids). Please make it your mission to get you and the kids out of there.

LittleMyLikesSnuffkin Fri 21-Apr-17 10:46:43

Sorry should have said the WA number is 08082000247. Failing that google women's aid and the town/city you live in and see if there's an alternative number. That's what I did. Good luck.

misscph1973 Fri 21-Apr-17 10:47:25

You need sleep. When you have slept, you will realise that you did not need to watch your DC and your DH sleeping on the sofa. I understand your concern, but it's misplaced.

It's hard, but you need to be the adult here, take your DC to school, you are not achieving anything by trying to make a point through them.

It's very hard to make sensible decisions when you are tired. But think long term. You don't want to habitually harm your DC trying to get to your DH.

M0nica Fri 21-Apr-17 10:54:46

But you wouldn't want to leave your kids with bastard h would you?

You DO have options, call women's aid & get out now.

FWIW I don't think bringing a baby down in the night to play is a great idea, it overstimulates surely? If baby is 10 months should be sleeping better by now, maybe get some advice from health visitor?

sammyjayneexx Fri 21-Apr-17 11:20:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker Fri 21-Apr-17 11:23:38

Sammy, you have posted over and over again about your abusive relationship and chaotic family life

You are not taking any action and your children are witnessing very poor examples of how to live from both of you.

ems137 Fri 21-Apr-17 11:31:31

So what if he helped you in the beginning?

He's clearly an arsehole and you need to get rid of him. For your children's sake as much as your own. Do you want history repeating itself with what went on with your patents? Do you want your daughter feeling like you do now?

Call women's aid and take any help that they can offer you. If that's a room in a refuge then surely it's better to be safe and happy with your kids than being treated like shit and abused?

And regarding the school situation this morning, I used to work nights in a very physical job, take the eldest to school and then look after a toddler all day so I know tiredness. They still never missed school though.

whattodowiththepoo Fri 21-Apr-17 11:40:05

You need help for your mental health, will you speak to your doctor about it?

M0nica Fri 21-Apr-17 11:43:28

Once I had a violent sick bug & couldn't leave the house, so I phoned the school to say dc wouldn't be in & 10 mins later the headteacher was on the doorstep to take them in! Schools take absences pretty seriously, sure they'd help out if you let them know.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now