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I'm pregnant and still focusing on things that happened over 7 years ago... Help?

(5 Posts)
Mamabearriri Fri 21-Apr-17 08:08:29

I don't know if this is the most appropriate section for this but it involves relationships so it's the best I could think of ...

Over the last 7 or 8 years I've been trying to block everything out that happened. and for the most part it worked. But the past few months have been tough. I found out I'm pregnant, I'm going to be a single mum, and I'm so terrified that the same things will happen to my child. I'm 16 now. When I just turned 8 I moved home. I met this really nice girl who lived two doors away from me. She was 13. We went to the same school, we spent most days together. After a few months, I'd stayed at her house a couple of times and vice versa. We used to play mums and we'd give birth to my dolls . It was weird but it was how we played. I stayed over one night and she kissed me. I thought she was playing so I thought nothing of it. The next time I stayed she dry humped me. This continued and got more graphic each time. She touched my private area one time. I felt dirty but I didn't know why. It effected my relationship with men and women. I have since grown a sexual preference to women, even though I have little to no romantic attraction. I was also pressured into sex with a 17 year old when I was 13. It wasn't rape. I'd never call it that. But he made me feel guilty until I said yes. Since these two incidents, I've found it difficult to have intimate relationships with people. I usually turn to casual sex. Older men like that so they usually come to me and ask. They offer me money, and gifts. It doesn't feel right when i do it. But I do anyway... But now I've stopped. It's not just my life anymore it's a baby's too... I really don't want them to go through this too.... I just want to know if this is something I should mention to my psychologist...? Was this sexual abuse?

aprilanne Fri 21-Apr-17 08:14:51

mama i think you really need to speak to someone about this .yes what the teenager girl did to you was very wrong very very wrong .you are very young to be having a baby .but you can be a good mum but honey i think you need a lot of support

noego Fri 21-Apr-17 15:52:48

You should most definitely mention it to your psychologist.

WeiAnMeokEo Fri 21-Apr-17 16:18:35

I am so so sorry that you went through all this. It's very common for pregnancy and birth to throw up any buried issues you haven't been able to address. My own were similar to yours, and I've found I've needed a lot of support - I would definitely tell your therapist/psych and seek out support groups.

Also, at 16 you are amazing for recognising that what happened to you was wrong and that you don't want your baby to go through it. I didn't get that kind of self awareness until very recently and I'm 31!

Feel free to message me if you like - sending all the luck and strength in the world xxx

Serowe72 Fri 21-Apr-17 18:05:38

Reported

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