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Meeting new partner

(9 Posts)
Mari50 Thu 20-Apr-17 21:24:14

My ex and I were together 14 years, we split Nov 16, he's in a new relationship (2 months) and wants to introduce DD. He's already met her kids. I know I have no control over this, but surely 2 months is too early to start blending families (he's talking day's out and holidays to DD, she's horrified)

JK1773 Thu 20-Apr-17 21:32:00

Oh heck! Far too soon. You've not even been separated that long. I've only been with my DP since Nov 16 and we are nowhere near me meeting his DC. If he even suggested it yet I'd be horrified. We are very happy and I think it will be long term but we don't see the rush. You are right though, you can't do a thing about it provided your DD is not at any risk. Difficult x

Mari50 Thu 20-Apr-17 21:43:18

Thanks for the support.
Just wanted to check I wasn't crazy. I know I have no choice but glad to know there other sensible people out there. I wouldn't consider introductions until I was very established, just wanted to check I wasn't uptight bitch (which is what I'll be accused of)

SaltySeaDog72 Thu 20-Apr-17 21:48:21

Oh dear, your poor dd - how old is she? Is she old enough to say 'actually no thanks' ?


JK1773 Thu 20-Apr-17 22:04:32

Not uptight at all, you sound far more grounded and sensible

Mari50 Thu 20-Apr-17 22:10:40

She's only 8, he told me a fortnight ago he was seeing someone- 'company for drinks and cinema', apparently now she's meeting the children material. He's been showing her photos of her and her DDand saying how they will have lovely days out.
My DD is very much a mummy's girl, her dad has had very little to do with her (minimal in the first 3 years, more as she 'got more interesting'.
I know he finds contact weekends hard and having a woman around to help will suit him fine (have already done this for him with his first DD)
Just wish he could wait, it's too soon for DD and I know he will be very pressuring for her to like his new gf and her daughter.

noego Fri 21-Apr-17 16:03:40

He's doing it to get to you. Make you jealous. Which makes it even more disgusting as he is using DD to do it. No one introduces kids to GF after 2 months.

Mari50 Fri 21-Apr-17 18:39:55

I asked him to stop grooming DD for a meet a couple of weeks ago (after he told me he was seeing someone) as DD came home with stories of how if daddy's next gf has a little girl the same age wouldn't it be fun. His fictional gf sounded a lot like his actual gf. He told me I was crazy and to stop thinking as it's always 2+2=5. Yuhuh. That was me, miles off the mark. Two whole weeks later and DD is being shown photos of gf and her DD and told how great it's going to be when they all go for a day out together and that will be happening soon.
I'm trying NC just now but he's making it so hard by accusing me of making things difficult for DD and basically being a cow. Which annoys me more cause I know he'll be telling gf I'm a difficult bitch and that's why 'he' finished relationship and she'll be enjoying the narc lovebomb phase of relationship and thinking he's such a great guy. When he's not. He's a cunt.

LesisMiserable Fri 21-Apr-17 19:52:24

I'd stop fighting it. You have no control over this and it will wind you up enough without you trying to resist it. Accept what is and deal with it accordingly.

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