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Anyone in an awful relationship that just wants to vent?

(4 Posts)
Upyourdaisy Thu 20-Apr-17 21:12:22

I'll try to keep it short. I've been with my oh just over 10 years and we have 5 dc together, before our first was born there was dv. Since then it's stopped but he's still very controlling. I knew what I was getting into when the relationship started (he's a gypsy and has been brought up following certain ways) but sometimes it's hard to cope with. I have people I'm friendly with during the school run, but I'm not actually allowed 'friends' I don't have fb and I've never had a girls night out or even been into town (I'm 27) people will say the kids are aware but out oldest is 8 and at the moment she's only just noticed that I don't have proper mates, but is also aware of the fact that she is part gypsy and in school she is treated a little differently so to her it does affect her day to day life. I'm not looking for a way out and I'm happy most of the time but I'm also aware of the fact that it's not a normal relationship, but there's also personal factors in play that means dragging my kids away from my oh would actually do more harm than good.
I'm just looking for support but not judgement really.

pudding21 Thu 20-Apr-17 22:14:34

No judgement here, you need to ask yourself do you want to live like this for the rest of your life. Do you want your children growing up to think its a healthy relationship. He is controlling your social circle for a start. My ex did that in a way but in a very passive way, he is doing it in a very obvious way.

Why can't you have friends and make new friends? he feels threatened.

Think about what you need and want in your future. Then mobilise on what you decide. flowers

Perdyboo Thu 20-Apr-17 22:16:24

No judgement here but flowers for you.

Upyourdaisy Thu 20-Apr-17 22:21:48

Thanks for replying. I know it's not right but I also know that when the right opportunity comes I'll take it, I also know that it won't be for a long time and that my kids will be a lot older by then and will fully understand why I had to walk away. The way they've been raised means that if I did take them away from what they know, I'd be in the wrong. It's really hard to explain but every decision I make, I'm thinking about them.

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