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How much time do you spend together?

(58 Posts)
DevilsAdvocaat Thu 20-Apr-17 21:09:57

I pretty much sit by myself every evening.
DH and I hang out on Fri/Sat nights but that's it.
Sometimes it makes me feel lonely.
I just feel too tired to go out and see other people.

happydays2017 Thu 20-Apr-17 21:11:23

Where is he?

JaneEyre70 Thu 20-Apr-17 21:14:08

DH is out once sometimes twice a week in the evening and I will usually babysit for DD once a week but the rest of the time we are together. We often go for a walk with the dog, sit and natter or get on with jobs in the house. We're not reliant on each other but like each others company. It sounds sad you are alone so much. Is he socialising or working?

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout Thu 20-Apr-17 21:14:42

We sit together every evening. Occasionally, we watch tv in different rooms. Most evenings we work out (at home) separately but always come back together afterwards.

Having young kids, we don't often have individual nights out, maybe every few months we go out independently.

We're pretty happy with that

MommaGee Thu 20-Apr-17 21:14:45

Hubby is home by 6, bed say 11-12. Other than housework and baby we're together. He might go out one turned night a week (tonight) leaving at 8. Every few months he might go straight from work. I go out less often in the week but have been known to meet DH at tree bus stop with DS.

Weekends unless specific plans we spend as a family but I'm more likely then him to have a few hours "off" as I have DS full time

Do you have children?
Where is he?
Why are you so tired? ( concern not judgment)

ChampagneTastes Thu 20-Apr-17 21:20:19

Every evening, every weekend. Tonight is a rare exception where he is out with his mates. Sometimes it gets a little suffocating - I look forward to moving house when we'll spend time in different rooms sometimes (not that DH isn't great but we could both do with a bit more space).

tinydancer88 Thu 20-Apr-17 21:21:01

In the week he tends to get home nearly 2 hours after me, sometimes I'm at the gym, sometimes I'm out with friends. He gets up early to run and plays football Thursday nights. We generally try to eat dinner together most nights, talk, have a glass of wine maybe, and sometimes watch a film before going to bed.

We usually spend the best part of at least one full weekend day together, and try to coincide our annual leave. We have no children and quite enjoy our own interests and space, so what works great for us may not be for everyone.

DevilsAdvocaat Thu 20-Apr-17 21:27:42

He sits upstairs on his computer.
He plays games or writes digital music on there.

I go to gym a couple of times a week but for an hour. We have children 7 and 10.
I'm tired probably because I'm a teacher. As is he.

DevilsAdvocaat Thu 20-Apr-17 21:31:39

I just find it really isolating.
I have spoken to him about it but I can't and don't want to force him to sit with me.

WipsGlitter Thu 20-Apr-17 21:36:21

We sit together but sometimes don't speak. Too much iPhone. Could you live the computer into the sitting room do he could do his stuff in the same room?

DevilsAdvocaat Thu 20-Apr-17 21:39:47

I have asked him but he prefers to sit upstairs by himself.
It honestly feels like he just wants space.

Sometimes I resent him so much for practically living in that room I don't even want him to come and sit with me. I'm so fed up with being alone.

Babyg1995 Thu 20-Apr-17 21:40:22

Every evening after work and every weekend we always socialize together wouldn't dream of spending a night apart might seem a bit much for some but it works for us smile

DevilsAdvocaat Thu 20-Apr-17 21:41:58

Sounds good smile

Chasingsquirrels Thu 20-Apr-17 21:42:38

Late-Dh & I used to spend loads of time together.
I worked for him, which involved quite a lot of time spend together during the course of the day in various ways, discussion clients, meetings etc. Plus just general just seeing each other around the office and if he was out seeing client he'd often call during the day or message.
Then evenings and weekends mostly spent together, he went out once a week with his best friend for a curry but just a couple of hours. He also saw his DD every week or so for a few hours and went to the races during the flat season for a few hours most meets.
It's left a massive hole on my life although I couldn't have been happier at the time.

DevilsAdvocaat Thu 20-Apr-17 21:43:30

I just want him to want to spend time with me. Just hanging out.

DevilsAdvocaat Thu 20-Apr-17 21:44:35

Aw chasing, he sounds amazing. Sorry for your loss flowers

Cakecrumbsinmybra Thu 20-Apr-17 21:46:22

Is there anything you both enjoy? (Or used to - what did you first have in common?)

DevilsAdvocaat Thu 20-Apr-17 21:51:01

We have lots of shared interests.
Often he'll go downstairs once I've come up to read confused

Sometimes I do wonder whether he loves me anymore. We've been together 15years. All the romance has gone.

OhTheRoses Thu 20-Apr-17 21:51:59

He's a workaholic. Out at 6.30, often not home until after 9, often abroad for work for 2/3 nights sometimes more. He is in the study now, I am on the drawing room. We perhaps have an occasional evening together. Always,August and Whit week.

When the dc were small I used to Sa ot was a bit like being a single parent without money problems. Often quite lonely.

DevilsAdvocaat Thu 20-Apr-17 21:52:15

Things just don't feel dire enough to end it.
We're just plodding along.

I wish I could entertain myself a bit better

DevilsAdvocaat Thu 20-Apr-17 21:52:54

Are you happy ohtheroses?

Perdyboo Thu 20-Apr-17 21:54:17

Isn't it the case that you've both got really exhausting jobs and it sounds like you both wind down in different ways.
Me + dh both have full time people jobs but have different ways of dealing so sofa dates are important or finding ways of keeping common interests going, especially when you have young children. You say you don't want to force him to sit with you - what's the original glue that stuck you together?? A shared band or box set interest?? That you spend Fri/Sat nights together shows that he does want to spend time but I would be unhappy about the playing games to be honest.

DevilsAdvocaat Thu 20-Apr-17 21:57:24

I agree with that Perdyboo.

The problem is that we sleep it separate beds due to his snoring. We don't ever have sex. I sit alone Sun - Thurs. I don't feel like I'm in a relationship.

DevilsAdvocaat Thu 20-Apr-17 21:58:03

I don't mind him playing games or writing music or working but it's just every evening.

purplehonesty Thu 20-Apr-17 21:58:37

Dh works shifts so some evenings I am alone
I don't like it at all
When he is at home we are together every night, even if I am baking he will sit in the kitchen with me reading or something.
Or if am making decorations he will set up a little table for me in the living room.
We go to bed at the same time and on days off we rarely do things without each other
But that's the joys of shift life, you miss out on so much time that you have to grab it while you can

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