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How do I let go

(5 Posts)
Dontknow12 Thu 20-Apr-17 19:25:19

So its almost been a year since I split with my ex. We are still living together in a 2 bedroom flat and things are OK.

At the start he was seeing someone and I didn't handle that well at all. He cheated on me with her before we broke up hence my unhappiness at the situation. After a few months he ended it with her and things got quiet at home and we just got on with it.

A few weeks ago I told him that I was going on a date with someone and he seemed happy for me. I have since learnt that he wasn't overly happy about it. Anyway after this he decided that he would get himself back out there. The rational side of me knows that this was always going to happen. The problem was he didn't tell me this even though I was honest with him until I confronted with his profile on POF yesterday. I thought it was strange that he was spending so much time on his Whatsapp but didn't figure it out until yesterday. He says I should have seen it coming.

I need to let go and not let it upset me but I'm struggling with this. I am seeing someone and everything is going well but I can't help but feel a sense of jealousy when I see him online on Whatsapp. How can I let go........

Moving out isn't an option for a least another 6 months or so.

Dontknow12 Thu 20-Apr-17 19:26:58

In case it matters we were together for almost 16 years and have no children together.

Kittencatkins123 Thu 20-Apr-17 19:35:24

Why have you been stuck together for 12 months and then will still be for another six months?
That seems crazy.
One of you should bite the bullet and move out.

Dontknow12 Thu 20-Apr-17 19:40:33

We own the flat and neither of us are in a position to move just yet. I really don't want to either. It's close to work and I couldn't afford to pay the mortgage myself.

AlcoholAndIrony Thu 20-Apr-17 19:47:16

I think I remember your original thread dontknow and I'm very very surprised you stayed living there. I understand there were circumstances of uprooting your whole life to where you are and money was an issue, but still, I think the thing about moving on emotionally works better if you are away from them physically as well.

I would say that you should really delete him from whatsapp first and foremost.

And just don't ask him about his new relationship/dates. I think you need to realise (and I'm sorry if this is harsh) but him dating anyone isn't any of your business and has no bearing on you or your lifestyle anymore. and vice Versa.

Personally, id be looking at moving out/ either him buying me out or you buying him out of the mortgage or put the property up for rental. Living in such close quarters I don't think is doing either of you any favours.

How does your new partner feel about you still living with your ex?

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