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Too much too soon?

(19 Posts)
illstopatone Thu 20-Apr-17 09:30:33

Met a guy on pof. I'm recently separated. He's ten years older, two children in early teenage, bald with a beer belly. I'm 32 with a three year old, I work out and I'm in good shape.

He's funny, we get along really well, we have been on three dates and noting physical has happened. This morning he asked if Ild like to go go to a picnic with him and his kids over the weekend as mine will be with her dad.
Isn't it too soon? I've known him less than a month.

And help me see past his physical appearance

hellsbellsmelons Thu 20-Apr-17 09:33:23

Yes it's way way too soon to be meeting kids.
And, if you don't like his physical appearance and don't fancy him then you never will!
Don't 'make do'.
Get out there and enjoy yourself finding someone you find physically attractive as well as all the other things.

roundandround4x4 Thu 20-Apr-17 10:02:45

Definitely too soon to be meeting his teenage children. If you are not physically attracted to him now, its highly unlikely that you ever will. It sounds as if your lifestyles are probably very different too, you work out, keep fit, probably eat healthily too, he is probably the opposite.
I'd keep looking!

Inexperiencedchick Thu 20-Apr-17 10:04:23

Maybe stay single for a while and work on the level you are willing to accept?
Had a date yesterday with a guy 37y.o., he is younger, but he has a belly and same height as me. I refused, told him I'm not attracted.
I'm slim, not fit though... I don't want someone with a belly...

If nothing physical happened then you better get out now.

noego Thu 20-Apr-17 11:03:55

If you wish to see the truth then hold no opinions for or against anything. To set up what you like against what you dislike is a disease of the mind. Zen Proverb.

Teddy6767 Thu 20-Apr-17 11:08:23

don't settle for someone just because you quite enjoy their company. If You don't have sexual chemistry and you don't fancy him much then it's probably never going to work. Looks certainly aren't the most important thing as they eventually fade anyway, but I do think they play a big part at the start of a relationship. Having a spark is very important.
As for meeting the kids - way too soon! I would say 6 months of being in a serious relationship would be a more appropriate time

user1490817136 Thu 20-Apr-17 11:08:57

Regardless of what this man looks like , if you're not attracted to him then I don't think it's got legs.

It does sound a bit too soon to meet the kids too.

AhYerWill Thu 20-Apr-17 11:24:32

Too soon to meet the kids, although I guess teenagers with parents that have been split a while may be better placed to handle it than a 3yo.

If you don't fancy him though it's a bit of a non-starter. Physical attraction isn't the be all, but I guess if even in the heady early days you can't see past his gut, he's probably not the man for you...

Aquamarine1029 Thu 20-Apr-17 11:26:41

He's not right for you and you know it. Walk away now and stop wasting your, and his, time.

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 20-Apr-17 11:35:38

Far too much and far too soon.

Do not settle.

Mintychoc1 Thu 20-Apr-17 11:35:38

I think there are 2 issues here.

Meeting the kids - if you were being introduced as a partner, then yes it's too soon. If you're being introduced as a friend, then it's fine.

Physical attraction is complicated I think. I've been seeing someone I met on POF for over a year now, and when we first met I didn't feel attracted to him. But his personality was great so the attraction came soon after.

louloulottie Thu 20-Apr-17 11:45:50

.... And help you see past his physical appearance ... are you for real ?! It sounds as if you want people to tell you that you will find him desirable in time etc.... you are either attracted to him or you are not. Make up your mind before potentially stringing this guy along.

illstopatone Thu 20-Apr-17 13:13:49

Thanks all! I don't want to be superficial that's all. Decided I'll go as a friend because I really enjoy his company and we have a lot in common. My ex husband looks like a model so that's why I had to post this

HotNatured Thu 20-Apr-17 13:41:26

Odd post hmm

HotNatured Thu 20-Apr-17 13:41:58

What has your exe's looks got to do with owt?

MsStricty Thu 20-Apr-17 14:17:44

I'm recently separated

I stopped right there, really, OP. What are you doing Internet dating when you haven't ended your last relationship fully (and I mean psychologically and emotionally) - particularly when you bring your ex into the conversation here.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Ellisandra Thu 20-Apr-17 14:25:05

What the fuck has his looks or your XH's looks got to do with whether it is too soon to picnic with his kids? confused

Shallow, much?!! grin

expatinscotland Thu 20-Apr-17 14:27:52

Walk away. You're not compatible, there's no physical attraction on your part. Take a break from dating for a while.

Ellisandra Thu 20-Apr-17 14:29:23

You know this recent separation?
According to AS you didn't even know if he'd dumped you for cheating on him or not, on the 29th March?!!!

I didn't realise that recent meant counting in days shock

New man sounds like he's moving too fast, yes - but in comparison to you, he's kind of a slow coach grin

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