Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Why can he not just back off?

(2 Posts)
Whathappensnowthen Tue 18-Apr-17 21:06:29

I previously posted about my situation and took on board the advice I was given on here. Brief summary - had been planning on leaving husband due to his issues with alcohol (mainly) but whilst getting finances etc in order I started a new job and ended up falling for a colleague.

Since then I have moved forwards with the separation and have sorted somewhere for the children and I to live. I have been looking for a new job (for obvious reasons) but have yet to find something that pays as well (in order to work I have high childcare costs). Anyway, my colleague and I have returned to being 'just' colleagues, which I found hard at first, but I know it is for the best. As far as I know, his wife remains blissfully unaware of our previous situation. He knew I was falling for him, we had some very frank conversations, but ultimately he said he had no intention of leaving his wife. However, he still messages me a lot. Not 'dodgy' messages or anything that you would consider inappropriate as such, but just work things, general things, like we're best mates or something. This I am finding hard to deal with as I struggled enough with him essentially rejecting me (fair enough, I was in the wrong too and didn't deserve any good to come of the situation) but why can't he see that this contact just makes things even harder for me? I have to be polite and courteous in the office, as I would with any other colleague, but given he knows how much I felt for him, why is he prolonging the agony? Perhaps I deserve this too, but I have backed off as much as I can.

JustSpeakSense Tue 18-Apr-17 21:13:33

Just start ignoring his messages and being unavailable when he tries to contact you.

Remain courteous at work.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: