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Am I handling this correctly?

(6 Posts)
ChickaDee123 Tue 18-Apr-17 19:44:45

Regular but have nc as this is potentially outing.

Has anyone gone NC with a passive aggressive/manipulative family member and then started questioning their judgment & downplaying all the bad stuff this person did? I keep playing back all the times they where nice to me and it's confusing me a lot. I always read them being "nice" as reeling me back in after doing something spiteful or passive aggresive, but now I'm wondering if I was misreading things? I'm also now wondering if the weird, PA stuff was me just misreading the situation? Although it didn't feel that way at the time.

Has anyone been in this situation & can offer me some advice? Tia x

Aquamarine1029 Tue 18-Apr-17 20:22:11

It's hard to comment when you don't give examples of this person's behaviour.

ChickaDee123 Tue 18-Apr-17 20:47:26

They would make catty comments. Deliberately forget to pass on important information, eg times, dates etc. Sometimes it felt like they'd set up a situation to cause drama. Mostly though I would just be ignored. Most things no way of knowing for sure if they were deliberate or not. So now I'm left thinking should I just have a thicker skin and just get on with it. Tia x

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas Tue 18-Apr-17 20:53:23

I think it's quite normal. I go through stages of wondering if it was just me, but every now and then I have clarity. It was an H in my case.

You just have to trust your self from when you made the decision. Writing things down can help: have a notebook to record the things you remember in your moments of clarity; then you can read it back when you're not sure and add to it later.

ChickaDee123 Tue 18-Apr-17 21:23:14

Thank you I will give that a try. Just so difficult when you are doubting yourself and you think about stuff and on its own each thing seems minor but then you put them altogether and it makes you realise their behaviuor isn't normal. Will keep reminding myself of that.

Joysmum Tue 18-Apr-17 21:33:37

That's the thing, on its own one lone incident isn't that bad, but it's a pattern of behaviour that is the issue...salami tactics.

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