Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Talking dirty - what do you say?

(98 Posts)
innocent Sat 10-Mar-07 19:40:31

Never done it, think I should...

But where to start?

Anyone brave enough to share?


Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland Sun 11-Mar-07 00:00:31

If you were ugly, though, you could just buy sex, I suppose.

Or pull some minger.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland Sat 10-Mar-07 23:58:10

Oh, I'd deffo have sex with a woman.

I'd sit down w/my legs all spread to accommodate my tackle.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland Sat 10-Mar-07 23:56:01

Yes, I'd take Viagra just so I could experience the male orgasm again and again.

expatinscotland Sat 10-Mar-07 23:55:30

I'd bash the bishop, have sex as a man - even if I had to pay for it, and drink loads of water so I could experience weeing standing up - none of this sitting down to piddle biz.

I'd drink a lot of beer and enjoy not having to pee every two minutes because of it.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland Sat 10-Mar-07 23:53:16

I'd love to be a man for a day, though.

That'd be ace. I wouldn't let it go to waste, that's for sure .

expatinscotland Sat 10-Mar-07 23:52:48

You have quite the imagination, Pann .

I'm 36, in fact.

Where the hell is Hull?

TBH, I couldn't point it out on a map.

I really couldn't.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpringisherePann Sat 10-Mar-07 23:51:20

oh a climber! Fancy?!

Expat is infact a man. He is a greengrocer. From Hull. Married with two children. His wife knows nothing of this alter-ego. Which gives him quite a knowing smug kick that he doesn't get from work.

He is 37.

expatinscotland Sat 10-Mar-07 23:50:18

Too bad he moved away. He took a job in Seattle a couple of months after we started seeing each other. BUt it had always been a casual thing, anyhow.

Oh, well.

expatinscotland Sat 10-Mar-07 23:47:18

He was a climber, MMJ.

And man, he was something else!

He just had it going on and honestly, he could just FLOOR ME with some of the stuff he whispered. Never nasty, though.


Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland Sat 10-Mar-07 23:44:45

Never nasty, but, man, he knew just what to say!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland Sat 10-Mar-07 23:44:21

The dirtiest talker I ever knew was a bi-sexual man.

Oh, god, he was HOT!

SpringisherePann Sat 10-Mar-07 23:41:31

standard, isn't it??

expatinscotland Sat 10-Mar-07 23:39:40

Anyone remember that Sex and the City episode where Charlotte takes up with that bloke who calls her a whore and bitch during sex ?

singledadofthree Sat 10-Mar-07 23:32:53

am shocked!!! wouldnt dream of such a thing

madamez Sat 10-Mar-07 23:28:36

WIthout wishing to put the OP off, sorry all but nothing's a sure bet. People vary a hell of a lot and even though lots would pretend to be turned on by someone giving them what they think they ought to want, (because most people are mad keen to give the impression of being sexually 'normal' even though there's really no such thing) you can't be sure ... until you try a few things. Innocent, think of stuff that would turn you on, because then at least one of you is enjoying it - and even if what you are saying isn't pushing his/her (having realised that you didn't state what gender either you or your partner are - not that it's actually any of our business...) buttons then the fact that you are getting excited by what you are saying will be a turn on in itself for the other person.

MascaraOHara Sat 10-Mar-07 22:18:18

yeah but they all tell you you're the best.. it's all soooo predictable.

talk of wet bits and other women also is a sure bet, lol.

monkeymonkeymoomoo Sat 10-Mar-07 22:11:06

Usually commenting on their massive size etc works, massage his ego, maybe read literature togethedr or to him?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now