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Need strength to go NC

(10 Posts)
Itsnotmyday Tue 18-Apr-17 11:18:29

exdp left me couple of months ago, he elft because we was arguing and told me he never wanted anymore kids (we have non together) since then things have got worse. He has gone from saying he wanted to try again, to really truley saying hurtful things. He told me i was a fat horrible mess, all im good for is sex because i have nothing else to offer, i have nothing going for me, im a foul cunt, hes met someone else and she made him feel special and wanted, he doesnt fancy me anymore. After all that i still wanted to try, because this wasnt the man i thought he was. He has continuinly avcused me of seeing other people (i havent) and tried to make me feel guilty. He told me my actions forced him to sleep with someone else. And when i told him that i wanted no further contact thats when he told me he was seeing someone else. He wouldnt let me move on. I feel so ashamed that someone who could call me all them things and i still want them, i feel so stupid. Hes hurt me so much, i feel lost and i stupidly still miss him and even make excuses for his behaviour. Is it my fault? He says he doesnt want to hurt me and he didnt want things to be like this. I finally broke contact with him 2 days ago.

Bones2017 Tue 18-Apr-17 11:24:08

No non of this is your fault! He says he doesn't want to hurt you then calls you some really terrible things! Block him on everything lovely. You can even block his calls and texts if you've got an iPhone.

You don't deserve that abuse Hun. X

QuiteLikely5 Tue 18-Apr-17 11:26:08

Where is your self respect? Are you really going to allow someone who thinks so badly of you back in your life?

Stop looking back and start looking forward.

Hold your head high and block him

Itsnotmyday Tue 18-Apr-17 11:28:05

I dont even know where my self respect is anymore, i never used to be like this

hellsbellsmelons Tue 18-Apr-17 11:30:41

Well done for the NC.
Make sure you do block him on everything.
Facebook, whatsapp, snapchat - all apps and all social media.
It's the only way.
He's vile and he's shown his true colours now.
It will be hard but you will move on faster.
Ignore his abusive shit and concentrate on you.
Keep busy. Go out with family and friends.
Gym, whatever makes you feel better.

Itsnotmyday Tue 18-Apr-17 11:32:41

Why would he say all that to me then to say he doesnt want to hurt me? Nothing makes any sense anymore

Bones2017 Tue 18-Apr-17 11:39:41

I think sometimes they're cruel to get a reaction. If you kick off then that gives them justification for their bad behaviour. It's heartbreaking but you've really got to rise above it and not give him the power to hurt you further. Block him. You'll get over him quicker that way. And your feelings for him will fade. X

Bunkai Tue 18-Apr-17 11:56:16

Because he wants to play mind games with you. The nice routine is a ruse for him to get you relaxed so he can be a bastard to you. Sick eh?

Very well done for going NC. Be aware he will try the nice tactic again to reel you in (or send someone in to fight his cause). It's all bullshit to keep you hooked into a vicious cycle that he controls.

Keep going. You'll notice it will slowly get easier until you reach a point were you absolutely know you will never go back. flowers

Itsnotmyday Tue 18-Apr-17 11:59:18

He has already tried that tactic, promising me he wants to try and how committed he is. Also told me he cant stop thinking of me and how much he misses me, then goes and has sex with someone else? Grim

Bunkai Tue 18-Apr-17 19:57:46

He may or may not have had sex with someone else. It's just a change of tact because you didn't fall for the "nice" tactic. He's trying to use jealousy to get you back in line. Since he's already been vetbally abusive to you I'd say the next tactic is "woe is me/I'm really poorly" to tug on your kind heartstrings. What a cock. You're well rid off that drama.

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