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How to turn down invite from DM?

(4 Posts)
SwearyBerry Mon 17-Apr-17 23:01:22

DM and I fell out a few years ago. We live about 300miles apart, so don't meet up often. When we do we are mostly polite and distant, though DM sometimes struggles to contain herself - her behaviour towards me oscillates from very tearful to really angry. At the same time she's proven unprepared to actually discuss and try to address the issues between us in a constructive manner.
This evening I received a text to invite me, DH & DC to her birthday party in the summer (big birthday). She's holding a private camping event for family - my siblings, partners, gc's, my cousins, aunts, their families...
If DM & I were talking, this event would be my idea of hell - as an introvert interacting for an extended time with my mostly extroverted family can be exhausting. Now DM & I are not interacting, it'll be a million times worse. So I'm not going.
Im expecting DM will be fuming about this, and I will be cast as unreasonable, dramatic, cruel etc....
Any suggestions about how I say no without making things worse than they already are?

MrsHenryWales Tue 18-Apr-17 00:04:36

Just tell her you're busy.

"Hi Mum. This sounds great - thank you for the thoughtful invite. Unfortunately we're busy that weekend. Hope you all have a lovely time."

bert3400 Tue 18-Apr-17 00:13:15

Quickly book a holiday / weekend away . Then your not fibbing about being busy !

SwearyBerry Tue 18-Apr-17 06:03:26

Thanks - can't believe I didn't think of that! ! I get so stressed about the possibility of having to see her that my ability to see think rationally goes out the window!

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