Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Guy pulling away?!? Help!!

(33 Posts)
erikaa Mon 17-Apr-17 17:25:58

Im not sure whats gone wrong with this...
Met a guy around 10weeks ago.. We got chatting..things steadily got flirter.. Until we suggested we go for a drink.
He seemed keen, he asked where id like to go, and that he'd happily take me anywhere, he'd started to text me when he was out with friends and drunk too. This Saturday gone he was texting while he was out. I told him to go enjoy his night but he carried on texting until like 4am when he was bk home. It wasnt like i was forcing the convo. Anyway.. Sat i didnt hear from him in the morning which i thought was a bit odd. I text him just small talk really in afternoon.. Saying i was shattered from staying up late chatting the night before, and He didn't reply.. He was at work later in day but wasn't in the morning.. :-/ then Sunday i text him asking how his easter had been he didn't reply until today and was pretty cold with me..not flirty like usual.. Asking Me nothing back, :-/ i said if he fancied that drink this week to let me kno and he said 'i will! if im free'
I left it at that..

I'm just a but like eh!?!? Friday he was all for taking me out, and that wasnt just cos he was drunk he'd been keen before that sober too..

But now 'if i'm free!'

Do i just leave it and see if i hear from him!? Or do i ask whats up?
He's backed off the last few days and i dunno whether to keep trying with him (like act normal, keep texting like usually would, ignoring he fact hes turned cold)
Or wether to back off also!?


Imafuckingidiot Mon 17-Apr-17 17:29:02

Oh God how bloody annoying.

It's impossible to know why he's done this. Maybe he's just chickened out. Maybe he's not that in to you but enjoyed the flirting. Maybe he met someone else on the night out.

Either way, his signals couldn't be any more clear without being rude. So save yourself the embarrassment, delete his number and move on.

Dozer Mon 17-Apr-17 17:30:59

Waste of your time texting so much before actually meeting up for the suggested date.

ScarletForYa Mon 17-Apr-17 17:31:13

He probably met someone else that night.

Definitely back off.

Drunk texting doesn't mean anything.

Astro55 Mon 17-Apr-17 17:31:14

Sometimes if you stop chasing they stop running.

Ignore and see if he contacts you - if not his loss.

Adora10 Mon 17-Apr-17 17:32:20

Yes leave it, do not text him again, you've made your feelings pretty clear and he's not exactly playing fair; don't chase him OP, it's not looking good I'm afraid.

Kikikaakaa Mon 17-Apr-17 17:32:26

I used to hate people that did this. I would just leave it. This is quite a warning sign if he picks you back up again, super keen then goes cold. Could be a million reasons why he has done it but now he's not really being all that polite I would cut my losses. It's been 10 weeks and he still hasn't taken you out. I would probably guess he has some other woman on the go at the same time and is weighing up all his options. Sorry. Cut him

LiveLifeWithPassion Mon 17-Apr-17 17:40:21

It's annoying not knowing why it's happened but he's telling you that he's not interested anymore.
It's shitty but just leave him to it.
Keep your dignity and don't contact him again.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Mon 17-Apr-17 17:43:38

Maybe when he saw how much he was texting you when he was drunk he is embarrassed?
Leave it with him and don't text him anymore.

DonaldStott Mon 17-Apr-17 17:45:55

Another proposing you do not contact him. If he has gone off you, it will annoy him and he will think he was right and justify his behaviour towards you.

SeaCabbage Mon 17-Apr-17 17:49:53

Do you mean that you started "chatting" to this guy ten weeks ago, online, and you still haven't met him? That's a lot of time spent on someone you've never met confused.

JK1773 Mon 17-Apr-17 17:54:38

I agree with the PPs. Fancy investing 10 weeks of your time and not actually meeting him. How odd. He's probably just changed his mind or now onto someone else. Don't waste another minute

erikaa Mon 17-Apr-17 18:13:02

No, without saying too much.. i see him a few times a week. I met him about 10w ago.. We got talking as friends.. Its maybe been 2/3 weeks we've been getting flirter. I'll still see him a few times a week even after this.. I find it weird to think he met someone fri night when i told him at 1.30am when he was texting to stop texting me and to go enjoy his night! Yet he carried on. Surly he couldn't have been with someone else while texting me constant til 4am! The next day he was at work so couldnt have met someone then. And sunday he was with his family.. Its very weird!!!!
I obviously dont want it awkward next time i see him so dont want to come across arsey about things.. But i dunno how to act now

PookieDo Mon 17-Apr-17 18:23:00

He might not have met someone new though. You have no idea whether he is still involved with someone else on/off and is with them this weekend for example?

Just say hi and carry on with your day if you see him

TheNaze73 Mon 17-Apr-17 19:16:32

Texting should be for nothing other than setting a first meeting. You're overly invested

isitjustme2017 Mon 17-Apr-17 19:22:20

When you see him just act normal, play it cool and don't mention the texts or the drink.

Astro55 Mon 17-Apr-17 19:54:19

He could've out of credit

TimelessReality Mon 17-Apr-17 19:58:02

Texting doesn't mean anything by itself.

Some men like to do it (like women) because they're bored or want attention.

If a man keeps texting you without trying to get to see you, or take things further romantically, he is wasting your time!

Dozer Mon 17-Apr-17 19:58:12

If he wanted to have a date with you (and vice versa) it would've been arranged.

Imafuckingidiot Mon 17-Apr-17 20:01:59

He's just got bored, simple as. He's had his fun and now he's done. Been there. It's shit, but there it is.

isitjustme2017 Mon 17-Apr-17 20:07:58

A friend of mine used Tinder for a while. She would often find blokes who would chat and text for weeks and then as soon as meeting up is mentioned, they disappear.

Itsmeitscathy Mon 17-Apr-17 20:24:03

I'm all for not playing games but went out with s guy for 6 months who blew hot and cold like this. Read the rules, follow them and keep your sanity.

pudding21 Mon 17-Apr-17 21:42:32

Check out this guy, he is a dating GURU and rather hot at the same time. I came across him when looking at removing myself from a toxic relationships but some of his videos are great on dating (he is quite addictive when you start watching him). A lot of his stuff is about self love <3

erikaa Mon 17-Apr-17 21:43:04

He asked me to join him on his night out Monday just gone, but i couldn't.
He told me again Thursday just to tell him when and where i want to go and he'll take me.its me who hasn't give him a day i can do. If anyone has stopped this night out thinking about it its probably been me, but still think how cold he was earlier isnt like him. I wouldn't say im overly invested. I see this guy regularly, we chat about random things like friends would.

Iflyaway Mon 17-Apr-17 21:47:29

He's giving you the run-around.

I couldn't be bothered with it personally.

Bodes no good for a future relationship.

Time to get back into the pool.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: