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how to create support when family is unsupportive

(6 Posts)
wattodonow Mon 17-Apr-17 14:39:05

dh is emotionally abusive. He doesn't care about my feelings, well-being, and is controlling in subtle ways. He is very career and money oriented and a bit manipulative. He has treated me me with hardly any respect or care.
I am at a point where I have to make decision. I think I have also lost love for him. Still feel some affection for him. I think I kind of know what to do.
I have another problem. I have no support. I come from broken home. Mum is nice but can't offer any support or guidance. Each time I talk to her, she keeps giving mixed responses. She says things like- after she spoke to me she was so worried, she spent whole night thinking about what to do but had no advice. I feel guilty discussing anything with her.
I don't eat to stress her. I have a sister, who is quite judgemental, a bit bossy and always right. She has been quite rude to me even in my difficult moments, so I avoid talking to her. She tells my mum things like she worries so much about me that she couldn't enjoy a meal outside with her dh. When I tell my mum she insults me, mum says she gets a little impatient but means well. They are willing to help me with money but I don't want that.
I have very few friends. I had lived in different countries, and lost contact with old friends.They have all moved on with families and new friends and live 1000s of miles away. I had a friend here, whom I supported in her difficult times, but she doesn't like to talk about problems. She has become quite a party, social person. We are in late 30s.
I worry when dh and I will split, I will have no one to talk to.

longdays Mon 17-Apr-17 15:19:56

Hi, I didn't want to leave this unanswered. I was in a similar situation about 5 years ago, my parents are about 4 hours away and not that helpful either. In the end I just had to leave my exh, it was really difficult, but I actually ended up making a few good friends because of it.

wattodonow Mon 17-Apr-17 16:01:49

Thank you for your reply longdays. How did you end up making good friends?
I really long for some emotional support.

gamerchick Mon 17-Apr-17 16:11:23

I'm struggling to understand OP? What kind of emotional support are you looking for? You mention eating a couple of times in your post.. do you have eating issues?

Maybe break down everything into manageable chink. Your relationship first for eg. Is it going to end, do you know how to go about it? Do you have any children?

gamerchick Mon 17-Apr-17 16:12:26


wattodonow Mon 17-Apr-17 16:25:14

Sorry gamer, I was typing on iPhone. I didnt mean to write eat. I was saying I don't mean to stress my family.

My family offers no understanding or guidance. They make it their own issue. It's nice to know you have people to talk when going through crisis in life. No I don't have kids.

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