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Seeking Desperate Help Again...Any Advice Appreciated.

(3 Posts)
aubs427 Mon 17-Apr-17 12:57:27

I have written about my situation on here in the past. To make a long story short, I went NC with my parents as they were highly abusive and I have remained estranged from them for almost an entire year. I've ignored e-mails they've sent and stayed strong when they tried sending my sister as a mediator.

However, at the time I originally had moved out, my husband had provided our current address as at the time, we tried to do the "right thing". After a year of trying to get them to understand the damage they've done to me and 'fixing' the relationship, I realized that there was no point because they could never admit their wrongs and just blamed me so I decided to move forward with complete NC.

My situation now is that they've all of a sudden, out of nowhere, decided to show up pounding on my door. Mind you, they REFUSED to visit me when I was on speaking terms with them for almost a whole year. And, they also never attempted any visits when they first received my NC letter. The first time they showed was this past Friday. I wasn't even home and happened to see them standing in front of my door and even watched my mom trying to wiggle at our door knob... Now, last night they showed up yet again; this time I was home. My husband and I immediately muted our TV (It wasn't that loud to begin with but windows were open) and we ignored every pound and knock.

They literally camped in my complex's parking lot for over an hour, moving their car into different spots, i'm guessing, to remain un-suspicious. My husband watched them looking into people's cars because we assumed they were looking for our old car my husband used to have as they don't know we have since purchased a new car and they don't know that our assigned parking slots don't match our actual apartment number.

My mom came up by herself a second time knocking, again, at least 8 times on our door. We ignored every knock and remained quiet as mice. Our security complex has varying hours and while I wish they could also camp and keep a look out for them; no one can predict when they're going to show up.

This means that now I'm at a point while I know a restraining order is an option...It takes time to get one. Does anyone here have any advice on what I can do in the mean time to keep them from harassing/stalking me like this?! I can't continue to live in paranoia like this.

I also wanted to add that I did recently send an e-mail, about a month ago, to my dad in response to a half-assed apology letter he wrote to me. But, it was a "I will not be resuming communication and am simply writing to advise that I am doing well and you need not worry any longer." I never responded back to his response e-mail as he quickly acknowledge "Maybe you're not ready" and went right back to guilt trips.

(Lastly, I want to add that i live in the US and am in California). Please help a desperate girl. I'm literally living in paranoia at this point.

Saggingninja Mon 17-Apr-17 13:52:30

I didn't want to read and run. I'm so sorry you're going through this. They sound unhinged.

Can you contact them with: 'We are getting a restraining order.'

Then get one. This sounds like a last ditch attempt at control. Your husband seems very much on your side which is great. xx

AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 17-Apr-17 14:03:47

I would talk to your local Police department about your parents harassment of you if you have not already done this. Seek legal advice on a restraining order asap. I would also inform the security people at the complex you refer to about their behaviours too.

Do not communicate at all with your parents. Radio silence from you is necessary.

I would not at all respond to any e-mails they send, toxic people like your parents like nothing more than a. a fight and b. the last word. No contact is precisely that, it is no contact.

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