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Introducing BF to DC

(14 Posts)
6079SmithW Mon 17-Apr-17 11:41:00

So I think online dating has actually worked for me! I've been seeing a man for about five weeks (and talking for two/three weeks prior to actually meeting so we've 'known' each other for about two months). I know it's really early days but I really like him a lot. We have a lot in common. He is open and communicative. He appears honest, kind and straightforward. I'm pretty sure that this is the beginning of a genuine LTR.
My question is how long do I wait before I introduce him to my children? In the time that I've been separated (eighteen months) I've never introduced them to anyone. Though they frequently ask me if I have a boyfriend they don't really understand the situation as they are only 6/7. Any advice, others' experiences would be appreciated smile

JK1773 Mon 17-Apr-17 11:44:42

Well I've been with my DP 5 months and nowhere near meeting his DC. No need to rush. Just enjoy your time together for now

INeedNewShoes Mon 17-Apr-17 11:49:26

I'd give it a few months. You need to be really quite sure (as you can be) that it's looking like a very longterm relationship before introducing them to your DC to avoid them becoming attached to someone who they then never see again if the relationship breaks down.

I know I certainly couldn't judge at 5 weeks how a relationship was going to pan out.

SayenRose Mon 17-Apr-17 11:56:21

I waited 18 months, longer than most but we enjoyed our time getting to know eachother because adding kids makes it suddenly very serious and there are more hearts to break. It all worked out well and we're married now

MadeForThis Mon 17-Apr-17 12:23:11

I would say 6 to 9 months. You need to truest know who this man is. And if the relationship is likely to last.

TheNaze73 Mon 17-Apr-17 13:22:03

Between 18-24 months as an absolute minimum

DearMrDilkington Mon 17-Apr-17 13:23:29

I'd say at least 12months. 5 weeks is way too early to even be thinking about it.

user1490817136 Mon 17-Apr-17 13:27:48

You sound pretty switched on OP so I'd say you should just go with your gut. Knowing someone for years doesn't guarantee they will be appropriate around your kids so it's always a risk , but I also see that you will never know if your relationship has legs until you get a glimpse of how you'll look as a family unit.

Personally I introduced my partner to my kids after 6 months , they had never met a partner of mine in my 9 single parenting years and it felt right.

I'm sure you'll do the right thing :-)

Tearsoffrustration Mon 17-Apr-17 14:11:59

I waited 5 months - that was 19 months ago they get on great

Kikikaakaa Mon 17-Apr-17 17:28:49

I waited 6 months and it's only in a casual setting and for short periods. My kids are older so it is easier for him to pop round for an evening when they are in their rooms as usual anyway. Or we go out for something to eat.

HermioneJeanGranger Mon 17-Apr-17 18:58:14

6 months as an absolute minimum.

TheStoic Mon 17-Apr-17 20:58:32

I waited a year.

6079SmithW Mon 17-Apr-17 21:29:08

Thanks for your responses.
I had thought around 6 months would probably be ok; and it seems as though that's not too far 'wrong' in terms of how others have felt too.
I think it was on my mind because I'd just seen him this weekend, and I hate that every time I want to see him it means time away from my DC. The other side of that, is that I need to accept they need quality time with their dad though anyway (I can be a bit of a worrier/micro manager) so it probably does us all some good smile

marmitegirl01 Mon 17-Apr-17 22:23:02

When you are ready or it happens naturally. Last partner I waited 6 mths and he dumped me after 9mths out of the blue ( for me anyway!!) Current partner met my older daughter on date 2 as circumstances it happened that way. Been together 6+ years. So do it when you want and it feels right. As long as you are not introducing them to someone new every 2nd weekend!!

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