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Best way to handle grandparents favouritism

(7 Posts)
TTOF Mon 17-Apr-17 07:51:14

To cut a long story short dd (5) has just started to notice MIL views her (and ds) differently to her other GC.

So...
- do you keep quiet and keep the peace and moan about it in the car on the way home with dh
Or
- ask MIL think about what she's staying/ to stop saying how perfect the other GC is when my dcs are around - or to praise them all equally

How have you handled it and was that the best approach with the benefit of hindsight? 😬

KarmaNoMore Mon 17-Apr-17 07:56:25

My mother does that, it is utterly annoying but she does the same with her other GC. If she is with us DS can't do anything better than X and Y. If she is with X and Y, then it is DS who is the greater. if she was doing it in front of everyone (clear favouritism for other child) I would reduce visits to the absolute minimum.

BetterEatCheese Mon 17-Apr-17 07:59:03

Say something. Letting it brew will do no good. I am in the same situation and I just say it at the time of the comment or counteract it with an interesting story about dd. Chipping away as I don't want to say it outright as I am not sure they are even aware.

TTOF Mon 17-Apr-17 08:02:05

MIL was all about the other GC all weekend when we visited. She was nice enough with my 2 but gushing about the other GC. This was all regardless of which of her 3 GC were present/not.

noego Mon 17-Apr-17 08:05:54

I'd have a gentle conversation. Kids feel it and know it. GK's have to be treated equally and seen to be treated equally. IMO

AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 17-Apr-17 11:25:15

What does your DH think of his mother's behaviour?. Has he not noticed?. Is he both willing and able to talk to his mother?

I would not tolerate this at all from her and reduce all forms of contact accordingly. Such favouritism is highly damaging to both the favoured and less favoured children.

TTOF Mon 17-Apr-17 16:43:21

DH is almost as annoyed as me - he's getting better at confronting his mum about things but has often opted to have a quiet life and say nothing.

I'm glad other people view it as unacceptable- my parents were super fair with us so I can't work out which of us has the 'normal' PoV iyswim. 😬

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