I am currently low contact with my DM (I posted about the reason for this before here). I have two DC, a DD who is 4 and a DS 7 months. We only communicate on whatsapp and only really as me facilitating messages between her and DD, e.g. a thank you message after DD's birthday.
Anyway, my current issue is this: a card arrived yesterday addressed to my DD. Inside was an Easter card for my DD, an envelope with DS's name on containing an Easter card in for DS, and a cheque made out to DD, with a note in DD's card saying the money was for her to treat herself to something. There was no cheque for DS. I'm so sad and angry on behalf of DS. My DM and I were still talking when he was born and I remember being in tears on the phone to her because so few people acknowledged his birth - we had dozens of cards for DD, and after two weeks only 7 cards for DS - she said it was "second child syndrome" but that yes it was very sad people did that, and now she does this!
We are already in the situation that she gave us a cheque for DD to start a savings account when she was born and has a standing order paying into that account monthly but hasn't sent a penny for DS. She didn't even meet DS until he was nearly three months old - she cancelled her visit the day after he was born (by planned c-section so plenty of notice) because her DP hurt his ankle .
What do I say? She'll be expecting a thank you message from DD. Would it be really bad of me to say something like "Thank you for DD's cheque - she's going to share it with DS so he isn't left out" or "Thank you for the cheque- I assume it's meant to be split between DD and DS"? Or do I just send a message from DD saying "Thanks for my Easter money love DD" and just not mention the lack of anything from DS? I really don't want to engage with her but equally I want her to realise how sad it is that she's treating DD and DS so differently .
Any advice?
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'D'M treating my two DC differently - any advice?
ThePurpleGirl · 16/04/2017 12:09
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