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Being the other person

(4 Posts)
Ewsey Sun 16-Apr-17 10:37:14

Please dont judge i have a very complicated situation. To cut a long story short, i cannot leave oh for a while. I have very valid reasons for this that i cant really reveal on here. Im no cheat, ive never cheated in my life. I And if i could leave him right now i would. But as it is i cant.
Anyway. Recently ive met someone else..and have felt awful about everything since
It started just with chatting, nothing in it whatsoever But in talking to him i fell for him and things began to get flirter between us both. He suggested we go out. So i told him my situation. He was great about it and completely understood things.. And is happy to keep chatting and getting to know one another. He also said he'd still go for a drink with me. But i dont know i feel hes hot one minute and cold the next now.
i think im a bit paranoid..about how he must be feeling, now knowing hes the 'other person' he doesnt say too much about how he feels. Just that hes ok with things.. Im not sure he is.. Anyone been the other person. How did u feel finding out?! Ive been totally honest with him. He knows its him i want to be with.. Just a very messed up situation :-/

Aderyn2016 Sun 16-Apr-17 10:41:28

It is hard to advise you given that you can't say why you are unable to leave your oh, but my instinctive feeling is that this new man is after sex rather than true love and adding him into the mix is not going to benefit you in the long term. I really don't like people who are hot one minute and cold the next - it is manipulative behaviour. So my feeling is that new man isn't a good move.

noego Sun 16-Apr-17 11:05:04

If this OM has any integrity, he would back off, let you sort your shit out and then when you have if you are still of the same opinion about him then he would allow you to contact him. But up until then he should stay away and have NC with you. This would prove that he is a gentleman and a friend.

Ewsey Sun 16-Apr-17 13:58:17

Could it be hes hot and cold now cos he wants to be with me but then realises it cant be like that right now so checks himself and trys to bk off?! I dont think its about sex.. I could be wrong of course but he is very much a gentleman or has been since ive known him, and i agree with second poster backing off would show that. Feeling pretty rubbish about the whole thing 🙁

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