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Husband drinking too much?

(8 Posts)
Tetley08 Sat 15-Apr-17 20:48:41

My husband goes out binge drinking. He returns home 2, 3 even 5am completely wasted. Just to give you an idea of frequency, over the last 11 weeks he's been out approximately 8 times drinking heavily. He has been out other times as well but returned at a reasonable time and not overly drunk, but the majority of times he gets completely out of it . The day after he is completely useless and I have to pick up the slack regarding our son. He mainly goes out on Friday nights after work so he misses all of Sat morning, time he could be spending with me and our son. The latest occasion being Thursday evening when he returned 5am on Friday - he was due to look after our son as I had to work but I didn't feel comfortable leaving my son alone with him because I couldn't wake him up properly, so I had to take him to work with me. Because he is not drinking everyday he claims he doesn't have a drinking problem. But I think he is a 37 year old man with a 5 year old son who should have outgrown this by now. He has no recollection of how he gets home, he misses his stop on the train, loses things, gets aggressive with people... These are only the things he tells me about so god know what else he gets up to. I have tried to make him see that his drinking is impacting my life and in turn our sons life, he seems to understand when we chat about it the next day, but a week or so later the same thing will happen, this has been going on for years. I'm so worn down by it, but also because it has become the 'norm' for me I'd appreciate other peoples perspective. Would you leave a relationship because of the above?

Sickofthisalready Sat 15-Apr-17 21:00:59

Wow I could have written that! My ex left 8 weeks ago and one thing I dont miss is wondering what state he'd be in, if he'd bother coming home, and if he did how and when he'd get here.

I spent at least 5 years asking him to reign it in, and it fell on deaf ears. He thinks the definition of having a problem is drinking first thing in the morning. Anything other than that was fine in his eyes.

FelixtheMouse Sat 15-Apr-17 21:09:48

Get rid of this loser. His drinking will only get worse.

Tetley08 Sat 15-Apr-17 21:13:42

yes I'm worried that it will get worse. I also very worried about the impact on my son.

Wolfiefan Sat 15-Apr-17 21:16:00

Yes I would get rid.
You don't have to drink every day to have a problem with alcohol. He's putting his health at risk, presumably spending a fortune and it's affecting his family. It's a problem.
Isn't there an NHS questionnaire you can do about alcohol habits? Or AA?
Sorry OP. That's shit.

pallasathena Sun 16-Apr-17 00:34:23

He's a loser and when women stay with losers they end up in negative territory emotionally, financially, physically, socially.
I'd give him fair warning then if he doesn't meet expectations, tell him its time to move on. You can't live your life enabling someone who is basicaly dysfunctional, disrespectful and a functional loser. They're two a penny in modern society and you deserve much, much better.

BackforGood Sun 16-Apr-17 00:53:04

You know already that it is just not responsible behaviour.

Nothing wrong with 'going for a drink' every now and then, but for responsible adults, that means 3 or 4 and coming in at a reasonable time, then up and able to function the next day.

Only you know if his other qualities are so superb, it balances out this drunken behaviour.

noego Sun 16-Apr-17 00:58:27

His drinking is already impacting your son and your family life. Its time to put up or shut up. Rein it in or fuck off. Simple.

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