Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I'm pretty sure I did the right thing, but need you to reassure me!

(20 Posts)
mermaidofthewestside Sat 15-Apr-17 20:37:29

Hello Wonderful Mumsnet.
Feeling rejected & a bit wobbly.
Was dating someone for last two months. Met online.
He was complimentary & generous (expensive meals out & OTT presents) from the start. I don't normally fall for that but I did.
I'm a single mum on a tight budget but genuinely thought he was into me..
Every time we hung out he drank.
A lot.
Of expensive wine.
To the point he was totally smashed.
When we drank lots together it was mighty fun! A few times he drank when I wasn't drinking. Once I got to his house & he'd been drinking from 4pm & I got there at 8 & he was shit-faced.
A few times when he was drunk he was argumentative over nothing & defensive. I let it go. I minimised.
He was away on business last week (drinking lots in the eve) & he sent me a text I didn't understand. I asked him what it meant & he replied with
'Oh does it really need to be this difficult? & basically thanked me & said goodbye. I was really pissed off.
I went out with & lived with an alcoholic years ago & his behaviour started to remind me of my ex.
Now I have a daughter I'm not going to go there.
He texted apologising & asking me to meet him for dinner.
I said 'never'.
I went with my gut here - have I done the right thing? What would you do?

Braveanddifferent Sat 15-Apr-17 20:42:18

Exactly what you did, walk away now, think of your daughter. You both deserve better.

Mum4Fergus Sat 15-Apr-17 20:42:55

Yes, you've done the right thing, absolutely flowers

Itshello Sat 15-Apr-17 20:44:14

100% right.

BlessYourCottonSocks Sat 15-Apr-17 21:00:31

Well done. 'Never' was exactly the right word to use. Don't respond to any other texts and block him if possible. You've already bought the T shirt on that one.

Gah81 Sat 15-Apr-17 21:01:37

Good for you. Sounds like you definitely did the right thing.

MrsChopper Sat 15-Apr-17 21:08:16

Sounds like you have done the right thing! Glad your alarm bells rang now rather than further into a relationship!

tallwivglasses Sat 15-Apr-17 21:27:52

He's an arsehole that's frequently arseholed. I'm surprised you had to ask! Block him before he tries to worm his way back in.

mermaidofthewestside Sat 15-Apr-17 21:36:26

Thank you everyone
tallwivglasses - Yep!
The only reason I haven't blocked him is because I feel I should return the extravagant presents & arrange when - Should I?

Pallisers Sat 15-Apr-17 21:38:52

You did exactly the right thing. he has a serious problem with alcohol. I wouldn't stress at all about the presents. Just move on and chalk it up to experience.

fabulous01 Sat 15-Apr-17 21:46:31

Absolutely
And I wouldn't care about the gifts. Also not worth the hastle ... to return ... do what suits you but stay away

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach Sat 15-Apr-17 23:14:39

You definitely did the right thing. And balls to returning the gifts. Just move on. His loss

Dowser Sat 15-Apr-17 23:15:47

Definitely did the right thing op
You dodged a bullet.
Sounds like a naughty boy in adult clothing.

NeonGod73 Sat 15-Apr-17 23:17:22

Stay away from drinkers. They are mentally weak.

LuluJakey1 Sat 15-Apr-17 23:30:36

Don't meet him or speak to him or text him ever again. Walk away and never look back.

Gah81 Sun 16-Apr-17 07:19:57

Don't think you need to return the gifts - they were gifts, after all. Just cut him out of your life and move onwards.

kittybiscuits Sun 16-Apr-17 07:21:51

Your response was perfect. Don't think about returning the gifts.

mermaidofthewestside Sun 16-Apr-17 20:48:41

Thank you!
So glad nobody is saying 'give him another chance!'
Today I had such a fun day with my friends & daughter.
And reflected on a few hmmmoments with that guy.
Yes. I did the right thing. Amen.

thethoughtfox Sun 16-Apr-17 21:36:31

Smart girl.

Mumandsome78 Mon 17-Apr-17 02:54:03

Yes. Inspirational reply. Hits a nerve for me also. Well done you. I love the absolute conviction of it.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now