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I'm pretty sure I did the right thing, but need you to reassure me!

(20 Posts)
mermaidofthewestside Sat 15-Apr-17 20:37:29

Hello Wonderful Mumsnet.
Feeling rejected & a bit wobbly.
Was dating someone for last two months. Met online.
He was complimentary & generous (expensive meals out & OTT presents) from the start. I don't normally fall for that but I did.
I'm a single mum on a tight budget but genuinely thought he was into me..
Every time we hung out he drank.
A lot.
Of expensive wine.
To the point he was totally smashed.
When we drank lots together it was mighty fun! A few times he drank when I wasn't drinking. Once I got to his house & he'd been drinking from 4pm & I got there at 8 & he was shit-faced.
A few times when he was drunk he was argumentative over nothing & defensive. I let it go. I minimised.
He was away on business last week (drinking lots in the eve) & he sent me a text I didn't understand. I asked him what it meant & he replied with
'Oh does it really need to be this difficult? & basically thanked me & said goodbye. I was really pissed off.
I went out with & lived with an alcoholic years ago & his behaviour started to remind me of my ex.
Now I have a daughter I'm not going to go there.
He texted apologising & asking me to meet him for dinner.
I said 'never'.
I went with my gut here - have I done the right thing? What would you do?

Braveanddifferent Sat 15-Apr-17 20:42:18

Exactly what you did, walk away now, think of your daughter. You both deserve better.

Mum4Fergus Sat 15-Apr-17 20:42:55

Yes, you've done the right thing, absolutely flowers

Itshello Sat 15-Apr-17 20:44:14

100% right.

BlessYourCottonSocks Sat 15-Apr-17 21:00:31

Well done. 'Never' was exactly the right word to use. Don't respond to any other texts and block him if possible. You've already bought the T shirt on that one.

Gah81 Sat 15-Apr-17 21:01:37

Good for you. Sounds like you definitely did the right thing.

MrsChopper Sat 15-Apr-17 21:08:16

Sounds like you have done the right thing! Glad your alarm bells rang now rather than further into a relationship!

tallwivglasses Sat 15-Apr-17 21:27:52

He's an arsehole that's frequently arseholed. I'm surprised you had to ask! Block him before he tries to worm his way back in.

mermaidofthewestside Sat 15-Apr-17 21:36:26

Thank you everyone
tallwivglasses - Yep!
The only reason I haven't blocked him is because I feel I should return the extravagant presents & arrange when - Should I?

Pallisers Sat 15-Apr-17 21:38:52

You did exactly the right thing. he has a serious problem with alcohol. I wouldn't stress at all about the presents. Just move on and chalk it up to experience.

fabulous01 Sat 15-Apr-17 21:46:31

And I wouldn't care about the gifts. Also not worth the hastle ... to return ... do what suits you but stay away

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach Sat 15-Apr-17 23:14:39

You definitely did the right thing. And balls to returning the gifts. Just move on. His loss

Dowser Sat 15-Apr-17 23:15:47

Definitely did the right thing op
You dodged a bullet.
Sounds like a naughty boy in adult clothing.

NeonGod73 Sat 15-Apr-17 23:17:22

Stay away from drinkers. They are mentally weak.

LuluJakey1 Sat 15-Apr-17 23:30:36

Don't meet him or speak to him or text him ever again. Walk away and never look back.

Gah81 Sun 16-Apr-17 07:19:57

Don't think you need to return the gifts - they were gifts, after all. Just cut him out of your life and move onwards.

kittybiscuits Sun 16-Apr-17 07:21:51

Your response was perfect. Don't think about returning the gifts.

mermaidofthewestside Sun 16-Apr-17 20:48:41

Thank you!
So glad nobody is saying 'give him another chance!'
Today I had such a fun day with my friends & daughter.
And reflected on a few hmmmoments with that guy.
Yes. I did the right thing. Amen.

thethoughtfox Sun 16-Apr-17 21:36:31

Smart girl.

Mumandsome78 Mon 17-Apr-17 02:54:03

Yes. Inspirational reply. Hits a nerve for me also. Well done you. I love the absolute conviction of it.

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