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Feel so down and alone!!! Love him but think we want different things

(5 Posts)
Penfold1980 Sat 15-Apr-17 20:01:51

I've been with my partner for 8 yrs but 3yrs ago i done my back n found out i got arthritis in my spine n our lives changed!!! I had to stop work due to my health, he says it doesn't bother him but we prob have intercourse once or twice a year if that!!! He hardly ever tells me he loves me n i feel as though he has changed so much over time!!! All i want is to be shown love with a random hug n kiss n not have to ask for one, i want to get married eventually but can't c it happening with him now even though i love him so much... I feel like a single parent most of the time n we never do things together as a family anymore, n yes i know my health changed things slightly but didn't need to change that much!!! He also drinks quite a bit again which doesn't help and i have quit smoking so put on a bit of weight which is making me feel even worse!!! Any advice is very much welcomed as I'm so down n cry over the slightest thing. N yes i changed coz it was a shock not being able to do as much anymore but I'm trying.....

pallasathena Sun 16-Apr-17 00:44:36

It is so bloody common for certain men to suddenly find things not to their satisfaction when their partner experiences illness or disability. From what you say, your partner sounds like your classic narcissist who thinks only of himself and his needs. Your needs have absolutely zero influence on the type sadly.
What to do? Well, if I was in your shoes I'd finish the relationship. I wouldn't want to be with anyone so self centered, so selfish and so obviously self involved as he appear to be. What's the point of getting involved with someone so bloody twattish? I really, really don't understand why some women gravitate to the fuck-wits when they could happily partake of single womanhood. Many, many societies don't offer that option but our society does. Take advantage of the opportunities a free society gives you rather than rumble on in a dysmorphic relationship. It really isn't rocket science to work it out....

Biddylee Sun 16-Apr-17 11:53:44

Sort your stuff out and leave him. It will be tough but life is short and being unhappy for the rest of it shouldn't be an option.
He isn't going to change and sounds like he's hiding in his drink.

Penfold1980 Mon 17-Apr-17 21:44:21

Well since posting this we have had a seriously long talk and got everything out in the open!!!! Prob is both of us struggle to open up sometimes until it all gets too much n it all blows out in one go..... Well he is up for counseling etc to help him with drink and us opening up to each other more and I'm going to get some aswell to help deal with my life!!!!! We r going to see how this goes and we have both agreed that if it doesn't help n things don't change then we r going to be "grown up" about it n split as friends coz of the kids we don't want it getting messy....... I don't want to just throw 8 yrs down drain so gonna give it one last shot so here's hoping........ Ty for replying xx

Piratesandpants Mon 17-Apr-17 21:46:46

Good luck Pengold, hope it works out.

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