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DH snoring ruining sex life

(19 Posts)
MrsMuddlePluck Fri 14-Apr-17 12:51:30

I go to bed before he does to make sure I get to sleep before he starts snoring. I get up before him, so I don't have to lie there and listen to him snore. I read in bed if I wake during the night, in order to get back to sleep as I listen to him snore. I don't hug him any more in bed as it's like hugging a pile-driver....etc etc

He has been on prescription meds a couple of years ago that really helped as I pointed out he wasn't breathing and GP diagnosed sleep apnoea. He can't be bothered getting a repeat prescription so now has gone back to snoring like a train.

It's got so bad that he now snores whilst awake and sleeps until 12/1pm given the chance! He also drops off to sleep whilst watching TV / checking emails on his phone!

How do I gently persuade him to "just F-ing do something about it - please!"

endofthelinefinally Fri 14-Apr-17 12:53:57

Does he drive?
Not taking his medication could invalidate his insurance.
Sleep apnoeia is really serious.

Timmytoo Fri 14-Apr-17 12:54:37

It sounds like it could be diet related. Does he eat relatively healthy or not? This could be related to his energy drops and snoring can be caused by weight gain.

floraeasy Fri 14-Apr-17 12:56:43

If you're DH is snoring during sex, there's definitely a problem wink

Sorry!

To be serious - is your DH overweight? Does he drink? Does he smoke? All those things won't help snoring.

He needs to see a specialist and maybe go to one of those sleep labs so they can really see what's going on. It can be very dangerous!

In the meantime, try a wedge pillow as it can help to keep the airways open.

He may need something like a CPAP machine if this problem cannot be solved any other way.

Good luck! Men can be so stubborn about their health flowers

floraeasy Fri 14-Apr-17 12:56:51

*your

FritzDonovan Fri 14-Apr-17 13:01:44

Mine is like this. Don't think anything will change unless he loses weight. Can you support this with a family diet (on the sly)?
Interested in the prescribed medication though...didn't know you could get anything for sleep apnoea.

BelafonteRavenclaw Fri 14-Apr-17 13:18:20

DH has sleep apnoea and uses a CPAP machine and it makes a huge difference. He used to be just like your DH and dropped off all the time, now he can go through the day and has a fairly normally sleep pattern.

isitjustme2017 Fri 14-Apr-17 13:27:12

My dp also snores badly (not quite as bad as this). He usually says "I can't help it" but then only ordered these plastic nose things because I told him next door have been turning their TV because of it.
It drives me nuts when I'm trying to watch TV and all I can hear from the bedroom is what sounds like a cow giving birth.
You need to tell him how much this is affecting you and to have the consideration to do something about it.

MrsMuddlePluck Fri 14-Apr-17 22:46:27

He's overweight & has been referred to a sleep clinic but won't go. With the apnea he isn't getting a decent night's sleep - I know I'm not. He has been working abroad a lot recently so I really notice at weekends.

He thinks his sleeping during the day is due to a recent ADHD diagnosis but I think it's just lack of decent sleep. Certainly if he's away all week not sleeping well of course he's exhausted by the weekend!

notangelinajolie Sun 16-Apr-17 16:46:28

Spare bedroom works for me. It is a blissful no noise retreat and I love, love, love it. We go to bed together and if the snoring gets too much I escape to my little bedroom. I should have done it years ago.

kerryob Sun 16-Apr-17 16:53:13

Record him and play it back to him, if he doesn't see it as a problem kick him out if bed onto the sofa.

Does he drive? You could report him to dvla as it should be declared, might make him take it more seriously

MrsMuddlePluck Mon 17-Apr-17 16:46:31

It must be affecting him badly. He got up at 1130, fell asleep on the sofa, went up to shower at 1530 & is now snoring on the sofa again!

Mrstumbletap Wed 19-Apr-17 11:27:02

I have recorded and played me DH his snoring as he doesn't believe me. I also have some fantastic earplugs that I use every night. Do you have earplugs?

Patchouli666 Thu 20-Apr-17 09:31:54

You can get noise cancelling earplugs. I'll have a google for you and report back. My stepfather used to snore when he was alive. Very overweight. Wouldn't do a bloody thing about it after sleep apnoea was diagnosed as 'it was a medical problem and not his weight ' therefore read not his fault. Very selfish to the rest of us tho. Whole bloody house shook.

AndTheBandPlayedOn Thu 20-Apr-17 12:21:37

His snoring will ruin more than your sex life. Being sleep deprived is awful.

As above, there are things he can and should do. My dh was awful too but started an exercise program and lost weight (and that didn't happen over night, but he started with 100days and then 100 more etc-now a part of his daily routine). He still snores a little bit but it isn't nearly as loud and not all night long/any moment he is asleep. (I am back with him at night.)

You need to resolve your own sleep deprivation. Separate bedrooms-and that would not necessarily affect your sex life. This is about sleep-a foundation to health.

AndTheBandPlayedOn Thu 20-Apr-17 12:28:09

My dh denied his snoring too. One day we were all outside and my teenagers were playing with our toddler. "What am I?" Moo-a cow! Cluck cluck-a chicken!
Then our teen laid down on the ground and started snoring really loud and our toddler shouted "Daddy! Daddy!" Dh finally understood.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners Thu 20-Apr-17 12:33:27

I have sleep apnoea and have to wear a mask at night. I haven't snored once since I had the mask 7 years ago.

If your DH does go to the hospital and they find its not sleep apnoea there's a ring you can buy from Amazon that stops you snoring but it's not suitable for people with sleep apnoea. My DH has this ring www.amazon.co.uk/d/Sleep-Snoring/Fire-44514-Stop-Ring-Medium-Large/B0045XBZNO?tag=mumsnetforum-21

It sounds mad but it does work. He doesn't snore at all when he wears it, despite having sounded like a steam train previously.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners Thu 20-Apr-17 12:34:44

Just reread your OP and see he has been diagnosed with sleep apnoea. He needs to get a mask. That will sort it.

Silverdream Thu 20-Apr-17 12:40:42

My other half snores so loudly it woke me up even when I slept in another room.
It took many years to convince himself he was selfish regarding it. He then decided to loose weight and the snoring stopped after shedding 3/4 stone and still overweight. The difference it made to our lives is incredible.
Perhaps you need to point out how selfish he is being not sorting it. Cruel to be kind and all that.

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