Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

EA- need help

(7 Posts)
tiredofnonsense Fri 14-Apr-17 00:51:36

There is EA in my marriage for a long time. Told dh I want to leave. He is okay with that. I think he feels sad and very low. But didn't want to talk. I feel sad for him. But I know he is not for me. I am on dependant visa. If we split, I need to go back. I need to talk to a solicitor to see if I can extend my visa. I am not working sad If I get visa extended, I can make a better life here than in my own country. Does anyone know a good but not so expensive solicitor in London?

user1484603141 Fri 14-Apr-17 01:06:02

Sorry I don't, but someone will have some advice for you. I think you are so brave doing this, hope everything goes well for you.

tiredofnonsense Fri 14-Apr-17 09:14:44

Thank you for your support user.

Anybody else?

Mumteedum Fri 14-Apr-17 09:17:27

All solicitors cost a fortune. Try citizen's advice about your visa? Good luck. You're doing right thing.

tiredofnonsense Fri 14-Apr-17 09:19:19

Thank you Mumtee.

tiredofnonsense Sat 15-Apr-17 15:21:06

A bit more on situation -

dh is emotionally abusive - labelling, silent treatments, stonewalling and I suspect some manipulation, sensitive about how he is treated but not sensitive in his behaviour, can easily mistrust, arrogant etc.
He has an excellent offer in US, he wanted to go and got upset with me for bringing concerns (i wrote in another thread). Went to telling me his life is ruined and didn't contact in 2 weeks. The day he was about to return I wrote to him long email about how he hurt me last few years and how much it affected me. I told him since there is no contact from him I am assuming he doesn't want to be with me and I am ok splitting.
On return, he demanded to talk immediately. Anyways he showed no remorse, wanted to talk quickly. Said he didn't message because he had nothing to say, not to give me silent treatment and that he is aware of my stress but upset too. Finally he said he is ok us splitting.
Now 2 days later he wants to know my plan. I am not from UK and don't work. In previous fights I said I will go. My therapist said I shouldn't go back and plan my split here.
He wants to talk this evening to know as he has to pick locations in US based on if I am coming and not.

Today when he asked me about my plans, he was arrogant.
Any suggestions how I can handle talking to him. He controls conversation by giving me only questions to answer or not wanting to hear what I am saying. He wants to know when I am leaving because he needs to plan and inform company about location in US. Last time my heartbeat started increasing. I don't know if he is asking me because he wants me to come to US or because he is worried I might be planning divorce here versus in my country.

Any advice will be welcome. Thanks a lot

MsStricty Sat 15-Apr-17 17:11:53

It might help to post in Legal Matters, OP.

Here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now