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Exhausted from taking it "one day at a time"

(5 Posts)
tonyonetonytwo Thu 13-Apr-17 18:23:30

Anyone else in limbo at the moment with a rocky marriage??? The not knowing of whether or not me and dh are going to survive this "episode" in our marriage. It's just so exhausting. Not knowing how to act around him. He's not really knowing what he wants at the moment. Might be depression or might just be him being scared to death of telling me it's over and the outcome and process of the aftermath!

My emotions are all over but because it's him that is struggling as he says then I feel I'm not allowed to be upset and sad and unable to fucking eat or function.

This is one of my angry days. I will be pathetically crying and emotionally tommorrow sad

SparklyMagpie Thu 13-Apr-17 19:18:37

How you doing OP?
If he turned round an said it was over do you have any plans in place? Anywhere you could go?

Sorry I have no experience as I'm on my own but it's good to have your ducks in a row

So sorry you are going through this xx

fedupandnogin Thu 13-Apr-17 19:25:46

flowers
So sorry you are going through this. I spent months/years with my ex-husband who said he had depression, then didn't know what he wanted.... Turns out he was having an affair and probably knew what he wanted all along. I feel now as though I wasted a lot of time on him/his depression whilst all along he was being deceitful which led to the break up of our family. I'm still angry.

Do you know, I actually found out that he had plans to leave me which meant I actually told him to leave in the end rather than waiting for him to do it. I'm not sure he's being totally fair on you. I hope you sort things out.

kaitlinktm Thu 13-Apr-17 19:31:58

Waiting around for someone to decide whether or not to stay with me sounds untenable OP. Even with depression, why does he get to decide? Isn't that a bit humiliating?

I would feel like making his mind up for him and packing his bags or mine, but I accept that things are never that simple.

Do you have children?

tonyonetonytwo Thu 13-Apr-17 22:18:04

I really really really hope it isn't someone else.... it is possible with the job that he does albeit be very exclusive regarding having to meet up and things but still possible.

If it was and we did split up I'd expect that he would go to his parents house and I would then claim to the local housing association that I was close to being homeless with the kids hoping that either they could sort something for me or I would possibly go private.

I hope it's depression and that he is just really confused with being numb and all. We've been here before but it included me checking his phone a lot with his past affair. That's stoped now but I have apparently still been difficult to live with. With my depression after having the dc's and thinking too much of his past affair it's just been so hard.

I'm stuck now between giving him space

OR

being very attentive and giving him the love and affection he's missed

It's like playing Russian roulette sad

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